Seattle Seahawks (9-1) - Previously: #1 - I should have known that the Seahawks are too good to be a in funk for more than two games. Pete Carroll and his staff made the proper adjustments and demolished the Falcons in what appeared to be a great spot for Atlanta. They're back at the No. 1 spot, and I imagine that they won't relinquish it for the rest of the season.
Denver Broncos (8-1) - Previously: #3 - A sign that your team is destined for great things: When Jack Del Rio eschews spending the entire week on the beautiful San Diego beaches to game plan for an inferior opponent. However, I'm sure Del Rio is well aware that he'll have many years to enjoy this as USC's head coach in 2014 and beyond.
Anyway, the good news is that Peyton Manning is fine despite the fierce hit to the ankles that he took at the end of the Chargers game. This means the Chiefs will have to actually deal with a legitimate starting quarterback this week.
San Francisco 49ers (6-3) - Previously: #2 - The 49ers would have beaten the Panthers had Vernon Davis not suffered a concussion. Consider the following:
With Vernon Davis: 49ers 9, Panthers 0. Colin Kaepernick: 6-of-9, 43 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs.
Without Vernon Davis: Panthers 10, 49ers 0. Colin Kaepernick: 5-of-13 for 48 yards, 0 TDs, 1 INT.
I've said it many times, but the toughest thing NFL coaches have to do is make in-game adjustments when key players suffer injuries. As we've seen when the 49ers missed their stud tight end earlier in the year, Davis is most certainly a key player.
New Orleans Saints (7-2) - Previously: #5 - The Saints aren't losing at home, making their matchup against Seattle in a couple of weeks perhaps the most important regular-season game this year.
As for New Orleans' most recent victory, someone sent me a comment about Tony Romo from a person named the "Iron Shiek:"
Tony Romo or Tony Homo you make millons dollar for being worse than dead dog s**t you are sad to all sport I wish i put you in camel clutch
Wow, I had no idea Rob Ryan's nickname was the "Iron Shiek."
New England Patriots (7-2) - Previously: #4 - The Patriots are coming off a bye, so I can use this space to mention something Woody Paige incoherently said on Around the Horn recently. He argued that Nick Foles shouldn't be the starting quarterback for the Eagles going forward because "you can't lose your job to an injury, guys!"
That's great analysis there, Woody. I suppose this means the Patriots should've kept Tom Brady benched when Drew Bledsoe returned from injury back in 2001. Jeez. Can you believe how dumb Bill Belichick is? How could he possibly give Brady the starting job over Bledsoe? After all, Bledsoe shouldn't have lost his job because he got hurt!
For more on the mushy-minded Woody Paige, please refer to my 2012 Internet Idiots Jerks of the Week entry.
Carolina Panthers (6-3) - Previously: #9 - Cam Newton didn't do his showboating very much at San Francisco because he didn't have a particularly good game, but his arrogance got me thinking: What if Superman similarly acted like a douche? What if he posed for the camera and made stupid shirt-ripping movements every time he saved a civilian? At what point would the general start thinking, "Man, that Superman is kind of a dick. I think I'm going to root for Lex Luthor to destroy Superman. Lex doesn't seem like a bad guy compared to that Superman douche."
Indianapolis Colts (6-3) - Previously: #7 - Ignore the loss to the Rams. It's the same thing that happened to the 49ers back in Week 3. The Colts were way too focused on their impending Thursday night matchup against a divisional foe, so they didn't take an inferior team seriously. If Indianapolis struggles at Tennessee, I'll drop them in my power rankings. For now, they'll remain steady.
Anyway, Facebook friend Jay B. brought up an interesting idea:
5 rushes for 2 yards and 0 receptions in 2 targets. I think after the Trent Richardson trade, Taton was so excited he accidentally killed Richardson, then in order to avoid getting caught, he has been posing as him ever since. Sounds illogical, but can you think of a better explanation?
I like it. Perhaps that'll explain why Richardson said the following to Luck on the sidelines: "Lock lock lock why you keep picking!!!!! Colt loose in play off any way!!!!"
Kansas City Chiefs (9-0) - Previously: #8 - So, I posted a completely logical reason why the Chiefs are "low" in my power rankings. I'll preserve it here for another week (in italics):
Rather than make fun of the homers posting in the comment board below this week, I thought I'd take another approach. Here's a logical explanation for why the Chiefs are No. 8 in my power rankings:
The Chiefs are not nearly as good as their 9-0 record indicates. In the past five weeks, they've had trouble dispatching Ryan Fitzpatrick, Terrelle Pryor, Case Keenum (making his first start in Arrowhead), Jason Campbell and now Jeff Tuel. Yes, other teams in the top 10 have enjoyed easy schedules as well, but the difference between the Broncos and Chiefs is that the former has a quarterback capable of winning the Super Bowl.
I can't emphasize how important this is. If this were 2000 or so, prior to the no-contact days, Kansas City could absolutely win the Super Bowl. But things changed in the middle of the previous decade when the NFL implemented the no-contact rules. Ever since then, each team that has won the Super Bowl has possessed an elite or second-tier quarterback. Smith is not on either of those levels. He's very mediocre. Sure, he makes good decisions and happens to be accurate in the short and intermediate passing game, but he is no threat to beat defenses downfield. He's extremely limited, and that'll hurt the Chiefs once they have to battle elite competition.
Once again, I have no bias against the Chiefs. I think it's cool that they're competent again because their fans (excluding a few of the incoherent idiots who have posted below) are great. But I'm just ranking these teams, 1-32, in terms of how they'd compete against each other on a neutral field. Currently, I believe there are seven teams better than the Chiefs, and to be honest, I think I might be ranking them too high. If they played better teams and were 5-4 or 6-3 - records that indicate how good they really are - they might be 12th or 13th in these power rankings. That's probably where they belong, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for now.
This did not stop the hate mail from coming in. Here are some samples:
Dafuq did I just read? You need to pop the 49ers titie out your mouth. Chiefs that low? Ranking like that, you probable need to have your @$$hole removed and surgically implanted to your inner elbow. Really no logic in that. That's how logical your rankings are.
What do you mean there's no logic in that? My cousin just had that very procedure. Don't hate.
My favorite comment of the day is from James (5 below me) "It couldn't possibly be that the Chiefs D did a better job, could it?" Scientific observation of the decade: CHIEFS D BETTER THAN COLTS D! This is an amazing conclusion that nobody has ever dreamed of! The COLTS defense, not being better than the chiefs! Somebody give this man an award
The problem is that Alex Smith won't lead you to a Super Bowl. Sorry.
You keep doing what you do best Walter(hating) and the Chiefs will keep doing what they do best, WINNING. Simple enough.
Good deal. Before I started working on this Web site full time, the No. 1 skill on my resume was "hating."
It's funny how last year before the season you had the chiefs as one of the most talented rosters in the NFL outside of the QB position. Now that they have Reid(whom you hate) and are playing like the talented team they are you just want to hate. You could just put the chiefs defense in the probowl. They win ugly, but that defense has elite talent. 9-0 is no fluke. In the NFL parity rains supreme, and good teams can struggle with bad ones. Especially when those teams want to knock you off and play you like it is their SB. Like the site, its entertaining but you lack some serious objectivity.
I still stand by that statement. The Chiefs have the most talent in the NFL outside of the quarterback position. But the quarterback position is exactly why they're No. 8. Alex Smith can't be successful in the playoffs. Kansas City cannot win a Super Bowl with him.
browns 22...ur an idiot!
OK, this isn't a Chiefs' comment, but I thought I'd include it for its hilarity. What the hell does this mean? Do I have the Browns too high? Too low? What is this crackhead complaining about?
Green Bay Packers (5-4) - Previously: #6 - I'm holding the Packers here for when Aaron Rodgers returns from injury. The defense blows, but Rodgers is just that damn good that Green Bay will always be in top-10 consideration with him on the field. He'll be back in 3-5 weeks.
Detroit Lions (6-3) - Previously: #11 - It looks like the Lions are the only NFL Season Betting Prop I'm losing for sure. Jim Schwartz deserves credit for making the team more disciplined this year. They haven't been penalized nearly as much as they were last season, and it's made all the difference in the world.
NFL Power Rankings: Week 11 - Bottom 10
32. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8) - Previously: #32 - The Jaguars better hope they don't win another game, or they'll screw themselves out of Teddy Bridgewater in the 2014 NFL Draft.
Of course, there's always Tim Tebow. This reminds me of an exchange that two forum members had about him not signing with Jacksonville...
Leelee: Why haven't the Jags signed Tebow yet? Is there anything to lose by doing so?
VBSiena: Shahid Khan is a Terrorist who doesn't believe in Christianity.
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-8) - Previously: #31 - Even if the Buccaneers had lost, I wasn't moving them behind the Jaguars because of Jacksonville's sole victory over a sleepwalking Tennessee team with Ryan Fitzpatrick at the helm.
Anyway, go to my NFL Game Recaps page for analysis of the Dolphins-Buccaneers game.
30. Minnesota Vikings (2-7) - Previously: #30 - I've given Brad Nessler a ton of flak for calling Greg Little "Mr. Dependable," referring to Jay Feely as "Jim Feely" and saying that a punter kicked the ball into the "night sky" in the Metrodome, but he wasn't nearly as bad as Jon Gruden was a few Monday nights ago. E-mailer Joe B. pointed it out:
"Who are Trindon Holloway, Cordell Patterson, and Marcellus Bennett? I heard Jon Gruden talking about these players, and I've never heard of them. Thought you might know."
No idea. I also have no clue how Jon Gruden is getting more than $4 million per year to work with ESPN.
29. Tennessee Titans (4-5) - Previously: #19 - The Titans belong down here despite their record because Jake Locker is out for the year. We've seen enough of Ryan Fitzpatrick, so we all know what's coming.
Forum Daniel posted the following:
For future betting stuff, Mike Munchak's Titans have lost all three times they faced the team with the worst record in the NFL (2011 Colts, winless before the Titans; 2012 Jags, 1 win before the Titans; 2013 Jags, winless before the Titans). That is not a good stat.
Yeah, that's pretty bad. I think it's time to start slotting a quarterback to the Titans in my 2014 NFL Mock Draft because a new regime probably won't want anything to do with Locker.
28. Oakland Raiders (3-6) - Previously: #28 - Poor Oakland fans. They were c**k teased. The Raiders were 3-4, coming off a big upset over the Steelers. Now, they're reeling at 3-6. Terrelle Pryor is performing like crap, while many of the other players seem to be out for themselves. Just look at this picture that Eagles' writer Sheil Kapadia tweeted:
Oooooh, nice job making a second-down stop while down 18 in the second quarter. You're so awesome, Tracy Porter.
27. Atlanta Falcons (2-7) - Previously: #26 - I didn't think the Falcons could be one of the "poisonous teams" I refer to on my NFL Picks pages because of Matt Ryan, but Ryan has been pretty bad the past three weeks. What happened to him? Believe it or not, there's a logical explanation:
The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!
Matt Ryan was ready for an action-packed Saturday night. He made cool plans to stay at home and play Monopoly with his mom, aunt and disabled cousin.
Matt Ryan: I've been looking forward to this all week, so I hope I don't go bankrupt landing on Marvin Gardens again!
Derek Anderson: Yooo mannnn cannnzzz I pplllaayyy?
Matt Ryan: All are welcome to Ryan Family Monopoly Night, but I smell alcohol on your breath. There is no alcohol allowed in the Ryan household.
Matt Ryan: Oh, I like soda. My mom only allows me to have one can per week. I already had a Fresca, but I like to live life on the edge, so a second soda wouldn't hurt.
Ryan had a sip from Anderson's magic flask. Later at the Ryan Family Monopoly Night...
Matt Ryan: Giivivee meee a hooteell buiillddinng heeree! Hic!
Matt Ryan's Aunt: Matthew, what's gotten into you? You can't build properties on a railroad.
Matt Ryan: I'mm a groowwn maaann annnnn I'll dooo annyytthinn I waannnnt! Giivveee meeee hooteell onn B&OOOO raaiilllroooddd hic!
Matt Ryan's Mom: Matthew, you don't even own B&O railroad. I do. Are you OK?
Matt Ryan: Ifff I saayyy I owowwnn B&OOO railllaooorr I oowwwnn hit! I llivvee liiffee onnnn theee edddgggee! Hic!
26. Buffalo Bills (3-6) - Previously: #23 - I received this e-mail from someone named Tim:
hey walt. few things. 1 how do you feel about the situation with the dolphins (Martin and Incognito?) 2 who are the biggest prospects likely to bust/ boom 3 that is all. Tuel is a fa**ot. -Tim
I discussed Martin-Incognito on my Random NFL Notes page. It's too early to discuss No. 2. And yes, I agree with No. 3 because Ryan Tuel (I like this proposed name change) potentially ruined my November NFL Pick of the Month (I would've used that on the Ravens if I had kept the October NFL Pick of the Month on Buffalo).
Unfortunately for the Bills, E.J. Manuel was worse than Tuel. He looked so inept against the Steelers. I wonder if Thad Lewis would've performed better.
25. New York Giants (3-6) - Previously: #27 - I don't have much to say about a sloppy Giants' win over the crappy Raiders, so this is a good time for more Andy Reid memes!
Last week, it was NOM NOM NOM time for Reid:
And so it continues this week:
24. St. Louis Rams (4-6) - Previously: #29 - I've been asked why I didn't move the Rams up after they nearly beat Seattle, and I'll no doubt receive complaints about their bottom-10 standing in the wake of their victory over the Colts. For that, I have two words: Kellen Clemens.
On the bright side, the Rams now have the NFL title belt. It's true! VBSiena posted a link to the NFL title belt movement since 1967, which is pretty cool. Even the new Browns were champs for two weeks!
23. Washington Redskins (3-6) - Previously: #21 - How horrible is this defense? They made Christian Ponder look like a Pro Bowler. Blegh.
Something new this year - I'm keeping track of precise run defense, pass defense and pass protection rankings in Excel. The benefit to this is that it'll be broken down by week. Here are the download links: