32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-12) - Previously: #31 - "Stats are for losers." -- Raheem Morris.
Having your team quit on you is a loser's trait as well. See ya, Raheem.
By the way, I found this amusing:
That's something you won't ever hear on ESPN. The sad thing is though, I could see LeGarrette Blount in a learning-disabled class. Speaking of which...
I love GameCenter. You can't make this stuff up.
31. St. Louis Rams (2-14) - Previously: #32 - It's time for my weekly bashing of NFL.com's bogus edge meter:
The 49ers are playing for a bye. The Rams are trying to land the No. 1 pick. Surely, this is a slight edge.
If San Francisco has a slight edge over St. Louis, then perhaps this would apply as well (thanks to Jay B. for this idea):
Emmitt can speak gooder English than someone else! It's a New Year's miracle!
30. Indianapolis Colts (2-14) - Previously: #29 - Speak of the devil, Famous GameCenter user Taton is still banned.
I wish I could read what Taton has to say about the Colts firing Bill Polian and the entire front office. Here are the posts Taton would have made on GameCenter if he were still a member:
On Bill Polian's firing:
- colt fire b.poland!!! b.poland make bad draft pick make good decison fire b.plan bfore he screw up draft and not take a.lock!!!!
On the rest of the front office getting axed:
- jim isray fire all front offece!!! why not fire back offece tooo!!!! jim isray make gay sex with cach cadwell in back offece!!!!!!!!
On Jim Caldwell still keeping his job:
- colt need fire cach caswell!!!! he spend to much tiem licking penas in back offece with jim isray and cristis prainter!!!!
On Peyton Manning being traded by March:
- p.manning throw too many int byebye p.mannnig team you go to have no hoep for playoff!!!!!!
On the Colts starting over with Andrew Luck:
- colt sack for leck and now get beast quarterbak in draft!!! i just hope cach casewell fire so he no lick a.lock penas in back offece with jim isray and cristis prainter!!!!!
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11) - Previously: #30 - I love the work that Scott Hanson does on NFL Red Zone, but he said something curious Sunday:
"There are some people in Jacksonville who don't want the Jaguars to win because of draft position."
There are people in Jacksonville who care about what the Jaguars do? This is news to me.
28. Cleveland Browns (4-12) - Previously: #28 - Thanks to Jacksonville's victory and the possibility of Peyton Manning going to Washington, the Browns' chances of landing Robert Griffin have just improved. They may not even have to move up to No. 3 to get him.
Speaking of Manning, check out this GameCenter post:
Manatee might be on to something. Instead of drafting Andrew Luck, the Colts should replace P Mann with Tee Martin.
27. Minnesota Vikings (3-13) - Previously: #27 - I was scared I was going to lose my Bears pick Sunday when Joe Webb replaced Christian Ponder. Webb inexplicably struggled, however. What happened? Hmm...
The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!
Joe Webb: This sucks. I'm so much better than that Ponder guy, but my coach doesn't want to start me for some reason. I need a drink.
Derek Anderson: Diiiid yewww sayyy drriiinnkkk? Iffff yewww wannanerrr beeee startunnn quarrrrbaaakk havvve a sssipp offff thissssss hic!
Joe Webb: I'll do anything to be the starter.
*** Ten minutes later... ***
Joe Webb: Whooooaaaa wwwuutttt cooolorrr issss myyy teeeammm I foorrrgoott I'lll jussss throwwwww tooo raanddddommzzz ppeeeopplleezzz!!!
The sad thing is that Drunken Webb is still better than Ponder.
26. Buffalo Bills (6-10) - Previously: #26 - Happy New Year! Wait, I won't get in trouble for saying that, will I?
Here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (all from Facebook friend Jay B):
1. "aaron rodgerss should be mvp"
Apparently there is more than one Aaron Rodgers.
2. "Joe Flacco sux man lmaoooo"
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
3. "your mom like the chargers. How do I know?? SHE TALKS IN HER SLEEP BOOM"
And boom goes the dynamite.
25. Washington Redskins (5-11) - Previously: #24 - I love this story. ESPN 980 Washington reported Monday that Redskins inside linebacker Rocky McIntosh "stuffed his bed with pillows/blankets to make it look like he was in and not breaking curfew" during the team's trip to Philadelphia.
Stupid Rocky. His friend Cameron told him not to take his father's 1961 Ferrari GT California, but nooooooo, Rocky got caught because he just didn't listen.
24. Chicago Bears (8-8) - Previously: #23 - Ugh, how snake-bitten are the Bears? If losing Jay Cutler and Matt Forte wasn't enough, they may not have Brian Urlacher ready for the beginning of next year. My condolences, Chicago fans.
Hey, at least Mike Tice isn't your defensive coordinator. Moving him into that spot may seem silly, but that's what the Eagles did with Juan Castillo. As promised, here's my interview with Castillo:
Me: Hey Juan, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Juan Castillo: No problem, Walter.
Me: Your defense struggled early, but really improved in the final quarter of the season. What was the major difference?
Juan Castillo: Our players worked really hard, and the coaching staff worked really hard, and when you work really hard and believe in yourself, good things happen.
Me: But most NFL players work hard. Were there any schematic changes? I noticed you played more man in the final few games.
Juan Castillo: We played more man coverage, but we believed in ourselves and worked hard, and we prepared for our opponent, and when you work hard and believe in yourself, and prepare as best as you can, good things happen.
Me: What about Nnamdi Asomugha? What was the reason for his turn-around late in the year?
Juan Castillo: No one works harder and prepares better than Nnamdi. You should see how hard he works in practice every day and how much he prepares for his opponent each week.
Me: But I'm sure Nnamdi has always worked hard. Why did he suddenly improve in the final few games?
Juan Castillo: Nnamdi just continued to work hard and believe in himself. It was the belief in himself that really carried him. If you work hard, believe in yourself and give it your all, good...
Me: Yeah, I know, good things happen. What sort of things do you need to do to improve this defense next year?
Juan Castillo: I need to continue to work hard and to believe in myself. I need to prepare for my opponents and give it my all, and if that happens, our defense will improve because the players work hard and try hard, and they believe in themselves.
Me: Why do I feel like I'm talking to a broken record here?
Juan Castillo: Because you work hard and you believe in yourself, and you prepared for this interview. I've always admired your Web site, Walter, because you work hard and give it your all, and from what I can tell, you believe in yourself, and you prepare for the games each week.
Me: Why, thank you. By the way, what's your favorite cheesesteak spot in Philly?
Juan Castillo: My favorite is Station in the Krewstown shopping center in Northeast Philadelphia.
Me: Really? Mine too!
Juan Castillo: The workers at Station work hard and believe in themselves, and they prepare the food really well. They give it their all and work hard at making the best food possible, and when you work hard and believe in yourself, good things happen.
Me: How'd I know you were going to say that? All this talk about cheesesteaks has me hungry. Do you know the fastest way to get to Station from Feasterville? I take Bustleton, but there's always too much traffic.
Juan Castillo: I don't know the fastest way, but I have no doubt you'll find the fastest way there if you work hard and believe in yourself. If you prepare for the car ride over and believe in yourself and work hard and give it your all, you'll get there fast.
Me: Juan, if I wasn't so hungry, I'd strangle you right now.
23. New York Jets (8-8) - Previously: #14 - Why has Mark Sanchez regressed so much? Is it a lack of talent? Poor football IQ? No. Here's why:
If I were dating that, I seriously doubt I would have the motivation to improve as a quarterback.
2011 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. Miami Dolphins (6-10). Previously: #16
12. Cincinnati Bengals (9-7). Previously: #10
13. San Diego Chargers (8-8). Previously: #15
14. Dallas Cowboys (8-8). Previously: #11
15. Houston Texans (10-6). Previously: #19
16. Denver Broncos (8-8). Previously: #12
17. Tennessee Titans (9-7). Previously: #22
18. Carolina Panthers (6-10). Previously: #17
19. Arizona Cardinals (8-8). Previously: #21
20. Seattle Seahawks (7-9). Previously: #20
21. Oakland Raiders (8-8). Previously: #18
22. Kansas City Chiefs (7-9). Previously: #25
Unable to parse PHP Command