32. Indianapolis Colts (0-10) - Previously: #32 - The Colts had a bye week, so beloved GameCenter poster and Colts fan Taton wasn't active on the boards. Let's take this opportunity to post some of Taton's greatest quotes:
- "Manning always got pick in the last minutes that is sux!!!!"
- "Colts offense and defense not good too many pass drop could catch!!!!"
- "Colts just flatted"
- "Maning Maning Maning why u keep picking!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- howmany drop passes can be catch"
- "P. Manning very game he play he struggle"
- "Manning you sux always choke!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye bye no more hope for playoff!!!!!!!!!!1"
Now that Taton has seen "Cristis Prainter" in action, I wonder if he still think Manning sucks.
31. St. Louis Rams (2-8) - Previously: #27 - Speaking of GameCenter idiots, there apparently was a trolling problem on the Seahawks-Rams board, as KyleK509 pointed out:
Die? Isn't that a bit extreme, KyleK509?
30. Kansas City Chiefs (4-6) - Previously: #29 - Todd Haley is a weirdo. But don't take my word for it. Check out this animated picture that forum member CrazyCarl had in his signature:
That's basically the expression Matt Millen has when he sees one of his young stallions inserting kielbasa into their you-know-whats.
Ugh, I just grossed myself out.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-7) - Previously: #25 - Last week I wrote "A win over the Browns means nothing." A loss to the Browns means everything, so here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (the first two from Facebook friend Jay B):
1. "thats it a field goal come on lions i touhgt your better then that"
Your mom "touhgt your better then that" too, until you brought home the results of your first spelling test.
2. "come on field goals. get touchdowns."
I've heard of people rooting for the Jaguars and stuff. Never did I think that people would ever root for the field goals.
3. "why does chicagosynidates mom smell like garbage oh yeah that must have been from last night"
Wait, are you saying that she smells like garbage because she had sex with you? Way to insult yourself, idiot.
28. Washington Redskins (3-7) - Previously: #31 - I love when announcers say the most obvious things ever. For example, Rex Grossman heaved an ugly interception downfield in Sunday's game against the Cowboys. Tony Siragusa took this opportunity to chime in with some brilliant analysis:
"This is exactly, EXACTLY, what Rex Grossman didn't want to do."
EXACTLY, eh? And here I thought Grossman threw so many interceptions because he actually enjoyed doing so.
27. Cleveland Browns (4-6) - Previously: #30 - Mike L. sent the following e-mail over to me:
Keep mocking Trent Richardson or Lamar Miller to Cleveland. Local area shops are selling Peyton Hillis jerseys at 60% off!
Isn't it amazing how much can change in seven months? Hillis was named the cover boy of Madden 12, and he was everyone's favorite running back. Now, the Browns don't want any part of him.
The Madden Curse is nuts. Not only did it injure Hillis; it banished him from a city.
26. Arizona Cardinals (3-7) - Previously: #28 - Remember the time when everyone thought John Skelton might be a better quarterback than Kevin Kolb? Aww, how cute.
If Skelton kept putting together quality performances, I would have suggested for Arizona to keep Kolb on the roster as the official play stealer. Heck, if Kolb continues to struggle at quarterback, maybe he can get a job as a defensive coordinator somewhere because he knew Philadelphia's calls so well.
Eagle fans better hope that Andy Reid isn't reading this because he might be thinking, "Uhh... umm... hem hem... Kevin Kolb at defensive coordinator is... uhh... hem hem... a good idea... hem hem..."
25. Carolina Panthers (2-8) - Previously: #24 - Speaking of Skelton, what the hell happened to him? He was decent at Philadelphia, but completely fell apart against the 49ers.
If you've been following this site for a while, you know exactly what happened...
The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!
John Skelton: I'm John Skelton and my arm is so massive that I just throw the ball as hard as I can downfield and hope something good happens. Har Har Har!
Derek Anderson: Heyyyyzzz yewww tuuuuk myyy jeeeoobb, havvve a sssipp offff thissssss hic!
*** Ten minutes later... ***
John skelton: I'mmzzz Jeeohhnn Skellttunn annn myyy arrrm is sooo masssifff thaaa I jeeusst thrrreww the bbballlzz aszz hrddd as cannn downfieeelll nn heoop somethunnn goooo happunnsss!
Yeah, not too much of a difference.
24. Minnesota Vikings (2-8) - Previously: #22 - E-mailer Landon E. sent over an NFL.com fail. This picture is from last year's matchup. Let's see if you can spot the goofy error.
Hint: A certain linebacker broke Michael Strahan's single-season sack record in just four games.
23. Buffalo Bills (5-5) - Previously: #16 - Poor Bills fans. Too many crucial injuries have destroyed their beloved team.
It's a tough call in terms of who's more miserable right now between Buffalo supporters and myself. That terrible beat in the Panthers-Lions game is going to haunt for a very long time.
In an attempt to heal my own wounds, I built a time machine so I can warn myself. Unfortunately, it only goes back 48 hours, so the best I could do was prepare myself for the bad beat.
Me: Hey Walt, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
Me From Sunday Morning: Whoa, what the hell?
Me: I'm from two days in the future. I've come back in time to warn you about something.
Me From Sunday Morning: Uh-oh... what?
Me: The Panthers, the team you have for your November NFL Pick of the Month, are going to be up 24-7 against the Lions.
Me From Sunday Morning: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!! SEVEN UNITS ARE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: No, wait...
Me From Sunday Morning: You've come back to steal my $700, haven't you? Well, I'm going to use this money to throw a party and invite hot girls to it that I will unsuccessfully game.
Me From Sunday Morning: But what?
Me: The Panthers are going to blow the lead because of interceptions and terrible tackling, and the Lions will win 49-35.
Me From Sunday Morning: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Me: I just want you to be prepared for it. Wait, what are you doing? Put down the gun!
*** BANG! ***
Me: Why did you do shoot yourself!?
Me From Sunday Morning: Tell the hot red-headed chick... from Wawa... that she had... a nice... rack... ehh...
Me: Why'd you kill yourself? I mean, why'd you kill me? Wait... whoa... my legs are disappearing... and now my arms... crap... with Me From Sunday Morning dead, I never built this time machine, so I don't exist anymore... there goes my neck... and... my... goodbye hot red-headed chick from Wa...
2011 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. Detroit Lions (7-3). Previously: #12
12. Cincinnati Bengals (6-4). Previously: #13
13. Atlanta Falcons (6-4). Previously: #14
14. New York Jets (5-5). Previously: #11
15. Houston Texans (7-3). Previously: #15
16. Denver Broncos (5-5). Previously: #17
17. Philadelphia Eagles (4-6). Previously: #23
18. Tennessee Titans (5-5). Previously: #19
19. Seattle Seahawks (4-6). Previously: #20
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-6). Previously: #21
21. Miami Dolphins (3-7). Previously: #26
22. San Diego Chargers (4-6). Previously: #18
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