2011 NFL Power Rankings: Week 10
Week 9 Top Fantasy Performers, Defenses

1. Green Bay Packers (8-0) - Previously: #1 - Aaron Rodgers is now 29-14 against the spread since 2009. Pretty sick. He could be the best of all time once his career is over.
   
   Oh, and good lord, Brian Billick is a pretentious douche. During the Green Bay-San Diego telecast, he had this to say when discussing Charles Woodson, "I coached a lot of great defensive backs like Ed Reed and Deion Sanders in my time."
   
   How convenient that that Billick has suddenly transformed into a defensive coach! I mean, his great offense played a big factor in that Ravens Super Bowl run and everything.
   
   Billick, you did not coach Reed and Sanders. You worked with guys who coached them. I had just as much of an impact on their careers as you did.
   
   
2. Baltimore Ravens (6-2) - Previously: #9 - Let's call that Jacksonville loss a fluke - because Baltimore just swept Pittsburgh, and Joe Flacco has apparently regained his confidence.
   
   Some people were surprised the Ravens beat the Steelers. I wasn't. Not because I had Baltimore for a unit on my NFL Picks page or anything; but because the Ravens were granted four timeouts in the second half.
   
   Don't believe me? NFL.com's GameCenter has proof, courtesy of Facebook friend Jon Z:
   
   
   
   
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-3) - Previously: #2 - Apparently, Ben Roethlisberger's a** belongs to Terrell Suggs. That's what Suggs said anyway: "His soul may belong to God, but his a** belongs to me."
   
   E-mailer David E. on this:
   
   NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! Why didn't Matt Millen draft Suggs? The two of them could stick kielbasa up each others' rear.
   
   
4. San Francisco 49ers (7-1) - Previously: #4 - Look, I don't want to disrespect the 49ers because of their record, but their previous two wins against the Browns and Redskins haven't been too convincing. They let both crappy squads hang around.
   
   Speaking of crappy teams, you know what would be cool? The 49ers should just abandon their seven victories and start over from scratch to see if they could win the NFC West twice in a single season. Five wins in the second half of the year should be able to do it.
   
   
5. New York Giants (6-2) - Previously: #11 - I don't know what to make of this team anymore. They barely beat the Dolphins, yet they went on the road and upset New England. Though I guess the slim Miami victory doesn't seem so bad after what happened in Kansas City. But what about Seattle? How do you lose to the Seahawks at home?
   
   At any rate, the Giants have a huge game against the 49ers coming up. I hope they were listening to Merril Hoge's analysis Sunday morning in preparation for that contest. Hoge had this to say about Frank Gore:
   
   "Frank Gore's no Al Gore."
   
   Hmm... and here I thought that San Francisco's stud running back invented the Internet and preached to everyone about Man Bear Pig.
   
   
6. New England Patriots (5-3) - Previously: #3 - As I said in the Week 9 NFL Game Recaps page, the Patriots would never have allowed that final touchdown if they still had savvy defensive veterans like Willie McGinest, Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, Richard Seymour, Ty Law, etc. What has Bill Belichick been doing with this roster? Why does the defense suck so bad?
   
   More importantly, why was Julian Edelman playing days after a sexual assault charge? And isn't it a bit of a coincidence that he was arrested for this right after playing the Steelers? It's almost as if Ben Roethlisberger approached Edelman and whispered into his ear, "Hey Julian, if she says no, it really means yes."
   
   
7. New Orleans Saints (6-3) - Previously: #7 - Did the Saints really have to kick that field goal to cover? Ugh.
   
   Facebook friend Jason G. had the following to say about this:
   
   Just wanted you to know you could start a psychic network if the football Web site doesnt work out. You wrote this in your picks page: "This is a 2-unit selection, so I'm sure the Saints will kick a field goal as time expires to boost the margin from 7 to 10."
   
   Ask and thou shalt receive, lmao.
   
   If you'll excuse me, I need to go to the store to buy some rope so I can hang myself.
   
   
8. Detroit Lions (6-2) - Previously: #8 - The Lions had a bye, so let's go to Notes from NFL.com GameCenter - a list of a few stupid comments I read on NFL.com's GameCenter and my thoughts on them:
   
   1. "sorry chicago cant keep my hands off your mom"
   
   Help! This man is molesting every mom in Chicago!
   
   2. "YOUR TALKIONG ABOUT BUNGLES BOY THE LAST TIME THE BUNGLES FACE YOUR SORRY TEAM THE BUNGLES ONE DUM B A S S"
   
   The Bungles "one," eh? Are you sure you're not the DUM B A S S?
   
   3. "brady had his shoot with the browns so now its tebow and mark my words is way better dont judge on 4 games look at troy akemen lol bad spelling "
   
   Well, at least he knows he can't spell. Most GameCenter people are ignorant about this.
   
   
9. New York Jets (5-3) - Previously: #10 - If you're a Bills fan, you may have noticed that I moved Buffalo out of the top 10. Two reasons for this:
   
   1. They were simply manhandled by the Jets. They had just three first downs in two-and-a-half quarters. This doesn't happen to a top-10 team, especially at home.
   
   2. A "White Out?" Really? What is this, college football? I mean, I know the Bills haven't been relevant in a long time, but professional teams don't need to use gimmicks like a "White Out" to get their players and fans fired up.
   
   
10. Chicago Bears (5-3) - Previously: #12 - Here's a recap of the Eagles-Bears game:
    
    1. Jay Cutler wasn't sacked in this game. That's the biggest story to come out of this Monday night contest. Chicago's much-maligned offensive line really held up against a fierce Eagles pass rush. Give offensive line coach Mike Tice major credit for fixing things up front.
    
    On the rare occasions in which Cutler faced pressure, he moved around the pocket really well and converted a bunch of third downs (7-of-14). He went 18-of-32 for 208 yards and two touchdowns - numbers that could have been much better if his receivers hadn't dropped two deep passes.
    
    2. Roy Williams had one of those big drops. Forum member Puppy Puncher had something amusing to say after a later Williams reception:
    
    I don't know where this Roy Williams kid came from, but I think he has a bright NFL future ahead of him.
    
    3. The other quarterback struggled. QB Dog Killer made some of his trademark breathtaking plays, but there was too much "bad" that overshadowed the good. The Bears did a great job of confusing him with their schemes, as they always do. QB Dog Killer, who is now 0-4 against the Bears, went 21-of-38 for 213 yards and a pick, and he could have been intercepted on several other occasions.
    
    4. Speaking of poor throws, give Andy Reid credit for trying a fake punt pass with rookie Chas Henry. It was a creative call that caught Chicago unawares. Unfortunately, Henry threw like a girl, and the pass bounced five yards in front of the intended target.
    
    5. If the Bears didn't win, I think I would have led off with something like: "Matt Forte had $$$$ on Eagles moneyline!!!" Forte had 133 yards on 24 carries, but was guilty of two key fumbles. Those turnovers led to 14 points for the Eagles.
    
    6. Something I don't get is why teams waste time getting the snap off after a possible turnover that could be challenged. This happened tonight. On one of Forte's fumbles, the refs ruled him down by contact even though replay clearly showed that he lost the ball before hitting the ground. Instead of hurrying to the line of scrimmage, Chicago took its good old time, giving Reid enough time to throw the challenge flag.
    
    Apparently, I'm not the only one miffed by this. Check out this exchange between two forum members:
    
    EllijayFalconsFan: I don't why the QB doesn't just spike the all when that happens. I mean it's a change of possession for God sakes.
    
    Michigan Mike: NFL coaches have lizard brains. Seriously just run up to the line and call a dive play. Anything to avoid the challenge. Just no huddle and snap the ball before the coach even has a chance. ****ING MORON!
    
    7. The Dream Team is kind of screwed at 3-5. There are so many wild card teams with five or six victories that they're probably going to have to win the division. They're three games behind the Giants with a loss to them already, though they battle each other two weeks from now. New York has a tough schedule, so there is some hope, but the odds are stacked against the Eagles. Besides, it's not like they're guaranteed to win all of their other games anyway. They're still terrible against the run.
    
    8. Speaking of Eagle ineptness, everyone makes a big deal about how great Reid is after a bye. Well, he's now 3-8 against the spread two weeks after the bye, so perhaps he spends too much time preparing for that one game.
    
    
    
    

32. Indianapolis Colts (0-9) - Previously: #32 - Beloved GameCenter poster and Colts fan Taton threw a temper tantrum during his team's latest loss:



Two questions:

1. Will Taton and Falcon Girl get married and have kids who post stupid things on GameCenter?

2. Who is this Cristis Prainter bum, and why are the Colts starting him?

31. Arizona Cardinals (2-6) - Previously: #30 - I have nothing interesting to say about the Cardinals, who had no business beating the Rams, so let's continue with the Colts. They've pretty much locked up Andrew Luck, but that's not a good thing according to Phil Simms, who doesn't think Luck can make all the throws.

I decided to call Simms for an interview to find out why he believes this.

Me: Hey Phil, thanks for taking the time to talk to me. So, why do you think Andrew Luck sucks?

Phil Simms: He has a minuscule arm. He can't make all the throws. The Colts will really regret it if they draft him and let Peyton Manning go.

Me: Interesting - because every other scout is enamoured with Luck.

Phil Simms: Well, I'm not every other scout. Believe me, the Colts will have no luck if they draft Andrew Luck.

Me: Clever. So, who's your favorite quarterback in this class?

Phil Simms: Can I go with none of the above?

Me: Really? You hate all of them?

Phil Simms: Matt Barkley is a poser. Did you see his blond hair? He's trying too hard to be like me and my awesome son.

Me: I'm sure that's what he was going for.

Phil Simms: Glad you see it that way. That Jones guy from Oklahoma also sucks. He throws like a girl. And Blake Griffin from Baylor is too dark-skinned to play quarterback.

Me: That's not racist at all.

Phil Simms: Well, to be a perfect NFL quarterback, you need to be pale with blond hair like me and my awesome son.

Me: I was going to ask about that. Don't you have two sons?

Phil Simms: What? Of course not. Don't be stupid.

Me: There's Matt Simms, who quarterbacks the Tennessee Vols, and Chris Simms, who used to start for the Bucs...

Phil Simms: Who's Chris Simms? Never heard of that epic failure.

Me: I'm pretty sure Chris Simms is your son.

Phil Simms: I'm ending this interview right now. How dare you say I have two sons when I clearly had one? If I had a son named Chris Simms, and he sucked as much as he did in the NFL, I would disown him for sure!

30. St. Louis Rams (1-7) - Previously: #29 - I'm still putting St. Louis ahead of the Cardinals. I'm convinced that if I didn't bet the Rams, they wouldn't have had that field goal blocked and certainly wouldn't have allowed that Patrick Peterson punt return touchdown.

29. Washington Redskins (3-5) - Previously: #27 - You know a quarterback sucks when you're betting on him, and every time he throws a non-checkdown, you shout, "Oh no!" Ladies and gentlemen, John Blegh.

28. Miami Dolphins (1-7) - Previously: #31 - If you haven't heard, the Dolphins suspended cornerback Vontae Davis because they believe he got drunk the night before showing up late to a practice in which he got into a fight with Brandon Marshall.

I think it's time to bring back an old favorite...

The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!

Vontae Davis: Doo doo doo doo doo... I'm a great NFL cornerback. Oh, what's this flask doing in my locker? From Derek Anderson? Hmm... let me try...

*** Ten minutes later... ***

Vontae Davis: Hic! Heyyyy Branzzz Marshulllzzz, why yewww drop evurthinnnn that Matt Mooorree throoowww toooo yewwwww? Hic!

27. Cleveland Browns (3-5) - Previously: #26 - Whether you're a Browns fan or not, you have to listen to this epic Browns fans rant, posted by Egg Shen on the forum.

Here are the highlights if you can't listen:

"Get excited, folks! Carlton Mitchell is playing on Sunday!"

"I'M TIRED OF SUCKING!!!"

"I can only eat so much poop."

26. Seattle Seahawks (2-6) - Previously: #28 - An exchange on the forum from a while ago that still applies:

LTomlinson31: Do wins against the Chiefs, Browns and Seahawks count anymore?

Ragnarok: Kinda like how f***ing a fat girl "counts." Technically you got laid, but you sure as hell don't want to brag about it.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-6) - Previously: #25 - The Jaguars are coming off a bye, so here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (the first from Facebook friend Jay B):

1. "Det is going to lose agian and with Da Bears win today they are on thier way to the Super bowel!!!"

I think it's safe to say that the team to win the Super Bowel will be the one to be digested last.

2. "EAGIRLS LOSE 54-O HA HA HA "

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

3. "this is a good little road test and chance to make a statement by beating the crab out of the seahawks and letting the league know their for real"

This actually makes sense. I suppose a seahawk could swoop down to the ocean and swallow a crab, which would allow one to beat the crab out of it.

24. Tennessee Titans (4-4) - Previously: #23 - If you don't like where your team is seeded in these NFL Power Rankings, you're not alone.

E-mailer Charles B. had this to say:

The Houston Texans, after 8 games (one half of their season) have the 3rd best defense in the NFL, the 7th best offense in the NFL, are in first place alone in the AFC South with a 5-3 record, and all of this while either Arian Foster or Andre Johnson has been out every game. Oh, and did I mention Mario Williams out for the year as well. Yet, you rate them without mentioin as, what, the 13th best team in the league. Please. Your bias against them is all too obvious here.

My response:

Oh yeah, I hate the Texans. As a born and raised Philadelphian, my hatred for the Texans has been the one constant in my life for 29 years. I apologize for being so biased.

In all seriousness, I just don't trust Schaub to come through in the clutch. I've seen this story one too many times.

23. Denver Broncos (3-5) - Previously: #24 - I found it absolutely ridiculous that John Elway planned to bench Tim Tebow if he had another poor performance. Like Lord Elway never had two bad games in his career.

What would benching Tebow have accomplished? A chance to see Brady Quinn in action? Get real.

Is it just me, or do Elway and John Fox seem like bad guys from a cheesy 80s movie? I'm half expecting Tebow to fight them in the All-Valley Karate Tournament.


2011 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. Houston Texans (6-3). Previously: #13
12. Buffalo Bills (5-3). Previously: #5
13. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2). Previously: #14
14. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5). Previously: #6
15. Atlanta Falcons (5-3). Previously: #18
16. Dallas Cowboys (4-4). Previously: #19
17. San Diego Chargers (4-4). Previously: #16
18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-4). Previously: #17
19. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4). Previously: #15
20. Oakland Raiders (4-4). Previously: #20
21. Minnesota Vikings (2-6). Previously: #21
22. Carolina Panthers (2-6). Previously: #22

Leave a comment Name Comment Verification: click on image to refresh it   @J Falk 03-27-2013 04:10 pm xxx.xxx.xxx39.2 (total posts: 4) 123     53 1)They plan on using Pitoitua at DE (do ur research on ur own team, lol) 2)Greene is terrible in short yardage situations (ask anyone who actually watched Jets games). 3)CJ WAS a top 5 back 2 years ago, not now (dances wayyy to much). 4)People said that KCs D was so young last year all they could do was get better (I assure you that did not happen) 5)No guarentee that Britt is ever 100% again, Wright showed flashes... But Locker's accuracy is terrible... regardless of how long he has to throw. 6)You sound exactly like all the KC fan freinds I had before the start of the year last season... Good luck, you will need it. MattMillenSucksDick 03-27-2013 09:34 am xxx.xxx.xxx.181 (total posts: 1) 55     6 I like your madden analogy walt. spot on. good article as always. J Falk 03-27-2013 04:22 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.39 (total posts: 5) 6     70 10-6, 11-5**** Also, didn't see your correction, so let's just call it even lol... I like the Chiefs too, but we're going to smoke check ya'll this season... Yall should have sucked another couple season and drafted Johnny Football... Now, with A Smith, yall are destined for mediocracy for a few seasons...lol Also, we stole ya'lls big DT Ropati Pitoitua... We now actually have some big boys in the middle with him and Sammie Hill...something us Titans fans are very excited about because our team was filled with undersized DT's...The Greg Williams effect is already taking place here. J Falk 03-27-2013 04:15 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.39 (total posts: 5) 6     114 6-10(even though they will EASILY win more than this) is still better than being ranked 29th.... Also, just because CJ and Greene are overpaid does not mean they aren't good RB's. The fact that Greene will be able to put all his effort into short down plays and CJ won't have to worry about that makes them even better... Also, why do you think Locker was turnover prone??? It was his first season as a starter and he had a horrible O-line. With Levitre(arguably the best pass blocking guard in the leaue) and the addition of a good rookie(Warmack, Cooper, Warford, B Jones, etc.) Locker will actually have some time to throw he ball....Also, not to mention, Britt was recovering from injury still last year and K Wright was a rookie..Also, not to mention, we had a horrible offensive coordinator for half of last season... I wish people would do their research before bashing a team and its' players.. Our defense(youngest in the league) can only get better too. Especially with Gregg Williams coaching them. Can't wait for everyone to eat their words when the Titans finish 10-5(not 11-4 like you claim I stated). Don't get me wrong, I could easily see us losing to Pitt at Pitt and getting swept by Houston, but I would honestly be surprised if we finished worse than 8-8 next season... NFC West is Best 03-26-2013 10:00 am xxx.xxx.xxx.163 (total posts: 1) 7     7 Seattle is getting a lot of attention this off-season, and rightly so, because the home field advantage they have alone is going to make it tough for anyone to come into their house and get the win. At the same time, Defenses have a whole season of footage on Russel Wilson and I just think that there are a lot of expectations being placed on a second year QB who has to work hard to create throwing space for himself. I think a lot of Pundits are also underestimating the role the rams could have on that division if they play in it as well as they did last year. * 03-26-2013 09:41 am xxx.xxx.xxx39.2 (total posts: 4) 6     5 10-6 sub for 11-5 (my bad) Umm...@J Falk 03-26-2013 09:39 am xxx.xxx.xxx39.2 (total posts: 4) 33     7 The Titans have a turnover prone QB, 2 terribly overpaid RBs, a WR who can't stay out of legal trouble, an overpaid (but solid) Guard next to 4 OK to subpar lineman, and a TE that is a great blocker but has hands made of stone... And you expect them to score enough points to go 11-5? I only see 7 "winable" games (not 7 they will win). I would say 6-10 is a much more realistic projection. My team won't do much better (KC Fan). Being realistic is not hating, sometimes the truth hurts. J Falk 03-26-2013 02:56 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.39 (total posts: 5) 6     175 So, 119 "thumbs down" and not one explanation...that's what I thought...haters Can't wait for my Titans to whoop up on half the teams that are ranked ahead of us... yes that means you: Cardinals, Chiefs, Chargers, Steelers, Rams, Colts(at home), and Texans(at home)... We also have the Jets, Raiders, and Jaguars twice... Only losses I can truly see are the Colts(away), Texans(away), Broncos, Seahawks, 49ers This season is going to be fun.... :) I'm calling it now...Titans land a wild card spot with a record of 10-6... Haters...with yall's shi**y teams... chuckster 03-25-2013 12:22 pm xxx.xxx.xxx8.76 (total posts: 1) 6     5 Patriots better PRAY that Gronk and Amendolea can stay healthy this upcoming season. Patriots let go a 5 straight year receiver with + 100 receptions. They lose out to Denver with Welker for the Astounding LOW amount of 1 million dollars a year,( NE offers 10 mill 2 yrs. Denver offers 12 mill 2 yrs.) BB and the rest of the'"spy" gate crew" should be ashamed of themselves letting their bread and butter receiver get STOLEN, right underneath their noses. Pissed off?? This Patriot fan sure is!! cory riesen 03-25-2013 03:25 am xxx.xxx.xxx.211 (total posts: 1) 23     4 :( i just don't understand the colts at all... The only thing that comes to mind is they plan on winning enough games to remain relevant enough with the small market they still own...They hope to get lucky with draft picks and win a few playoff games. Seems like their only goal is no negative press! lol I think the jets need a page from that book. J Falk 03-25-2013 02:43 am xxx.xxx.xxx1.63 (total posts: 2) 7     237 Somebody please explain to me how the Titans get worse next season. First of all, we were are one of the youngest teams in the league, so we're only getting better. Second, we improved even further by only addressing needs via free agency... Our worst position last season was Guard. We addressed that by signing Levitre, and we'll probably address the other guard position in the 1st or 2nd round. Our line will be 50 times better than last season. This will help both our run game and pass game tremendously while also hopefully keeping Locker from getting hurt again. The Titans also signed one of the better power backs in free agency. If anyone can recall, the Titans were great when they had a true 2 back system(Lendale White). Bringing in Greene, and upgrading our line(while also adding a true run blocking TE in D Walker) should get us back to the Titans of old. Defense: We didn't lose anybody(just got a year older on the youngest D in the league). We did add a much needed BIG body in Sammie Hill who gives us something we've been missing for years. We also added 2 good safeties(our 2nd worst position last year). Bernard Pollard will give us a true presence at SS while George Wilson will be great for nickel situations, and spelling the other safety... We literally lost NOBODY worth mentioning...we're a young team that got a year older...and we made some good, key signings that should only help our team... So please, explain to me how we got worse...somebody... Run-DMG 03-25-2013 12:18 am xxx.xxx.xxx4.11 (total posts: 7) 6     42 Reggie McKenzie inherited an 8-8 team that came one game and a few Tebow miracles short of reaching the playoffs. Instead of just making a few tweaks on defense, he dismantled a promising program led by the last man the Grand Old Man (peace be upon him) ever trusted in Hue Jackson and now look at them. There's only one Way for da Raidas to win and that's the Al Davis (peace be upon him) Way, a Way that was loved, cherished and respected by Hue Jackson. It's time for Mark Davis to restore his beloved father's (peace be upon him) legacy and fire the interloper from the frozen tundra. Commit to excellence and just win, baby! Pocket Runner 03-24-2013 09:11 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.134 (total posts: 2) 25     26 The Seahawks were lucky RG3 got hurt. They struggled badly enough in a 4:30 game against the Redskins, even with him banged up. @BW 03-24-2013 07:44 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.202 (total posts: 1) 3     3 Totally agree with you, but it's harder to predict a Cinderella than just stick with the top dog. BW 03-24-2013 07:07 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.110 (total posts: 3) 88     22 Love how everybody is jumping on the Seahawks' bandwagon. These trendy bandwagon Super Bowl picks never end up actually winning the Super Bowl... Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 67 8 9 ...108 109