32. Miami Dolphins (0-6) - Previously: #32 - In the Dolphins-Broncos Live In-Game Thread on NFL.com, several posters were attacking the Miami fans by saying that their mascot is lame. One of the Fins fans defending his squad:
If that's the case, then it's quite apparent that GameCenter posters do not kill sharks.
31. St. Louis Rams (0-6) - Previously: #31 - I already discussed how epically bad the Rams and Dolphins are. Here's another indicator:
Points the St. Louis Rams have scored in their previous four games since Oct. 23: 27
Runs the St. Louis Cardinals have scored in their previous four games since Oct. 23: 20
The Rams are outscoring the Cardinals by only a touchdown! Seriously, how pathetic is that? Perhaps the Rams can sign Albert Pujols after this season to play tight end or something. He can't be worse than what the Rams currently have at the position.
30. Indianapolis Colts (0-7) - Previously: #30 - Beloved GameCenter poster and Colts fan Taton was spazzing out during his team's 62-7 loss to the Colts:
I guess Indianapolis should take itself out of the Suck for Luck sweepstakes, since getting Luck "isn't change anything good."
29. Arizona Cardinals (1-5) - Previously: #28 - It's official. CBS' fantasy football league manager is the worst major one out there. In addition to costing lots of money, it gives terrible advice. Facebook friend Michael M. shared this with me:
That's right - for the price of Larry Fitzgerald or Chris Johnson, you can be the proud new owner of Houston or Cincinnati's defense. Huzzah!
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-4) - Previously: #25 - For those of you who started Marshawn Lynch, direct your hate mail toward Pete Carroll. It was initially reported that Lynch injured his back during pre-game warmups and consequently didn't play. However, it was later revealed that Lynch was having issues with his back all week despite the fact that he was never listed on the injury report.
Carroll is a pathological liar and a complete douche bag. Avoid all Seattle fantasy players at all cost until Carroll is fired.
At any rate, a funny e-mail from Joey T:
I hope you're done saying Charlie S***hurst is the best QB on the Seahawks. That's all.
Charlie S***hurst? Tarvaris "Poop Salad" Jackson? No wonder the Seahawks are so crappy.
27. Cleveland Browns (3-3) - Previously: #26 - Cleveland's three victories this year have come against the Colts (0-7), Seahawks (2-4) and Dolphins (0-6). They lost their other games by a combined score of 82-47 - that was to the Bengals, Raiders and Titans.
Just a hunch that Cleveland's 3-3 record is a bit misleading.
26. Tennessee Titans (3-3) - Previously: #20 - The Titans really blow without Kenny Britt.
Anyway, here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter (the first from Facebook friend Jay B):
1. "uh oh, victoria's panties are starting to get bunched up, lookout!"
Slowly but surely, GameCenter is transforming into a sex forum. Check out my NFL Picks page to see how these clowns react to a hot girl being on there.
2. "Alex did start agest more teams in the halfway/higher Ranked strength based teams. What exactly happined to cause that easy 9 points for the Aints in like week 3? or w/e. With the safty and the easy field position it wasnt entirely his fault GRANTED"
I wasn't following this guy at all until he capitalized the word "granted" and ended his sentence abruptly. Now it all makes sense to me.
3. "two best teams in the furture for the west is a much more constentent rams team and a 49ers team which needs a primary lead QB we have a good secondary in alex smith, but he cant play as head QB ill keep him for secondary becouse hes GREAT at that spot but the 9ers primary needs agood head QB which it hasnt land yet."
Did this guy just say he wants the 49ers to use Alex Smith in their secondary? Perhaps his Idiot's Guide to Football didn't land in his mailbox yet.
25. Washington Redskins (3-3) - Previously: #22 - Poor Rex Grossman was so sick before the Panthers game that he couldn't stand on the sidelines. Luckily, there was a camera in the locker room that captured what Grossman was doing and saying.
"I SUCK SO MUCH BLEEHHHHH, I LOST MY STARTING JOB TO JOHN F***ING BECK BLEEEHHHH, I TOLD EVERYONE MY TEAM WAS GOING TO WIN THE NFC EAST BLEEEHHHHH, I'M THE WORST QUARTERBACK EVER BLEEHHHH, NOT EVEN MIKE SHANAHAN COULD FIX ME BLEEHHHHH."
Unfortunately for the janitor, Grossman missed the toilet each time he puked.
24. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-5) - Previously: #29 - Jacksonville hung tough with the Steelers and beat the Ravens. Blaine Gabbert hasn't shown anything yet, but the defense is awesome.
At any rate, the Jaguars may not have many fans, but the very few are extremely tough. Check out this post from GameCenter:
Funny story...I went to the Jags vs. Bears game a few years back...it was at Chicago. Some dude started talking smack, so I smacked the living crap out of him and his buddies just stood there and stared. Chicago is full of punks.
A Jags fan who goes to road games AND beats the living crap out of opposing fans? There's no way this team can move to L.A. now.
23. Minnesota Vikings (1-6) - Previously: #27 - I'm moving the Vikings up because they're going to win some games with Christian Ponder.
Anyway, if you haven't heard, The NFL Network's Michael Lombardi recently reported that Donovan McNabb's work ethic has been abysmal this year. Per Lombardi, McNabb showed up late to meetings and practices. There have also been other reports that McNabb refused to listen to coaches who wanted to fix his throwing motion; that he just doesn't want to put in the time to be successful.
I wanted to give McNabb a chance to defend himself, so I called him up for an interview.
Me: Hey Donovan, thanks for joining me.
Donovan McNabb: Hello, George.
Me: George? Who's George?
Donovan McNabb: You.
Me: I'm not George.
Donovan McNabb: This is not George from GeorgeFootball.com? Sorry, I didn't exactly read your e-mail.
Me: No, I'm Walt from WalterFootball.com.
Donovan McNabb: Oopsie-doopsie!
Me: Anyway, I wanted to get to Michael Lombardi's comments, but first I have to ask you, what went wrong this year? Most people thought you'd bounce back with Adrian Peterson.
Donovan McNabb: Who's that?
Me: Adrian Peterson... the best running back in football...
Donovan McNabb: He's on my team?
Me: Umm... yeah...
Donovan McNabb: Oopsie-doopsie! I didn't get around to reading the roster just yet. I've been too busy watching TV.
Me: You don't know who's on your team? Do you even know who your coaches are?
Donovan McNabb: Uhh... Andy Reid?
Me: Andy Reid? You're not on the Eagles anymore!
Donovan McNabb: Oopsie-doopsie! No wonder I'm wearing purple now.
Me: You know, I'm starting to think I don't even need to ask you about Lombardi's comments.
Donovan McNabb: Good, because I'm missing some quality TV right now, George.
2011 NFL Power Rankings: The Rest:
11. San Diego Chargers (4-2). Previously: #8
12. Dallas Cowboys (3-3). Previously: #11
13. Chicago Bears (4-3). Previously: #16
14. Houston Texans (4-3). Previously: #14
15. Philadelphia Eagles (2-4). Previously: #13
16. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3). Previously: #12
17. Atlanta Falcons (4-3). Previously: #17
18. Cincinnati Bengals (4-2). Previously: #18
19. Kansas City Chiefs (3-3). Previously: #23
20. Carolina Panthers (2-5). Previously: #21
21. Oakland Raiders (4-3). Previously: #19
22. Denver Broncos (2-4). Previously: #24
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