New England Patriots (14-2) - Previously: #1 - The Patriots will battle the Jets again next week. Rex Ryan called out Tom Brady for being overrated last week, so I can't wait for Brady to torch Ryan's defense.
But even if Brady struggles, New England still has this guy to ensure victory:
Green Bay Packers (11-6) - Previously: #2 - It's not often that a No. 6 seed happens to be the best team in the conference. Now Green Bay actually has a rushing attack...
Facebook friend Matt S. found a GameCenter comment predicting the outcome of the Eagles-Packers game:
Good Luck with Vick packers.. This dude will run like a deer on crack, throw a 70 yrd TD pass, kill a rottweiler, tap Rodgers mom and smoke a blunt all in one play
Wait a second... he didn't throw a 70-yard touchdown pass!
Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) - Previously: #3 - The Steelers have played only three meaningful quarters in 2-and-a-half weeks. But Ben Roethlisberger owns Joe Flacco. Something has to give.
Let's go to Notes from NFL.com GameCenter - a list of a few stupid comments I read on NFL.com's GameCenter and my thoughts on them:
1. "TELL UR WIFE I SAID I WILL HAVE HER HEAD OVER HEELS AND THEN ILL HAVE HER HEELS OVER HER HEAD ."
Whatever you say, Ben Roethlisberger.
2. "too offensiuve on jake locker "
Too offensiuve on English language
3. "THE BEARS BEAT THE EAGLES ONCE BUT IT WONT HAPPEND AGAIN MAN NOT AGAIN"
This guy sounds like a recovering drug addict who was caught snorting coke. IT WONT HAPPEND AGAIN MAN NOT AGAIN.
Baltimore Ravens (13-4) - Previously: #4 - Great effort by the Ravens at Kansas City, save for those first-half Jamaal Charles runs. But based on Charles' sexual preference (thanks to Matt H. for this picture), who can blame Baltimore for not tackling him?
Hey, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Atlanta Falcons (13-3) - Previously: #6 - Bittersweet Sunday afternoon for Falcon fans. They watched QB Dog Killer lose, but now have to battle the Packers instead of the Seahawks.
Here are more Notes from NFL.com GameCenter - a list of a few stupid comments I read on NFL.com's GameCenter and my thoughts on them (the first from Arun M.):
1. "omg did h3ll just freeze over pat fan agree with pit fans. like i said miller fault, just like it was masq. when he got f up by harrsion."
No. H3ll will freeze over once people on GameCenter begin writing sentences that actually make sense.
2. "To all the Bears fans that said you the Eagles where going to lose to Houston Well Well look what happend now !!!!"
You know, your trash talking would be so much more effective if people could actually understand you.
3. "yo dont even live in ATL you live in the woods wit your sister an yalls kid lol"
Better than living in your mom's suburban basement pretending that you're from the ghetto.
Chicago Bears (11-5) - Previously: #7 - I think the Bears are the one team that would have rather faced the Eagles over the Seahawks. They had no problem with Philly back in Week 12, but had major issues with the Seahawks earlier in the year. Seattle won in Chicago by three, but were up by double digits before a late Bears score made the game closer than the result indicates.
Speaking of the Seahawks, Aaron S. sent me the following e-mail about a couple of things Joe Theismann said on a St. Louis radio program after Seattle beat the Rams a week ago:
1. When discussing the importance of special teams in the Seattle/New Orleans game, Theismann said that "Lionel" Washington could be a difference maker.
No word yet if Jason Campbell will be coaching Lionel Washington next year.
2. When discussing the draft order and possible spots for Blaine Gabbert, Theismann said how much he loved "Oliver" Luck at Stanford.
Yeah, Oliver luck was great at Stanford. The way he clapped in the stands was phenomenal.
New York Jets (12-5) - Previously: #10 - The Jets-Colts was my least-favorite pick of the weekend. I had Indianapolis covering for zero units, so I got the pick wrong.
Whatever. No big deal, right? Well, I didn't feel too bad - until I read this GameCenter comment from someone who picked the Jets:
A lot of people may be saying the Jets aren't playing too well now and the Colts are peaking at the right time and picking the Colt. However I heard something that Chriis Collinworth said that truck me. He said that last year when the two team played in the playoffs, it eemed like the Jets were one good cornerback away from winnig because of the plethora of weapons the Colts had. Now, it sees like the two have witched, the Jet got Cromartie and the Colts' recievers are banged up.
Indianapolis Colts- 17 New York Jets-27
It suddenly truck me that I'm very stupid.
New Orleans Saints (11-6) - Previously: #5 - It's remarkable that no Super Bowl champion has won a playoff game since the Patriots in January of 2005. The good news for the Saints is that they don't have that much to fix. They'll come back strong next year.
By the way, Seattle winning was the best thing the NFL could have asked for. No longer can douche bags like myself whine about teams with crappy records from crappy divisions not belonging in the postseason.
Philadelphia Eagles (10-7) - Previously: #8 - So much for QB Dog Killer's campaign to make himself MVP.
Seriously, what the hell was that? I'm angry at myself for forgetting to mention this a couple of weeks ago. How could QB Dog Killer come out and say he deserves to be the MVP? Even if he believes it, he shouldn't have said it. Will you ever hear Tom Brady or Peyton Manning saying crap like that? Absolutely not. Do they care about winning the MVP over, let's say, combing their hair or shooting a commercial? Absolutely. But they'll never say it publicly because their ultimate goal is to win as many Super Bowl rings as possible.
Unfortunately, young, impressionable people yearning undeserved respect are getting the wrong message by watching and listening to QB Dog Killer - which brings me to an awesome picture posted on the forum by Shadowdivided:
Indianapolis Colts (10-7) - Previously: #9 - The Colts just had way too many injuries to compete for the Super Bowl this year. It's remarkable that they even made the playoffs.
Jim Caldwell made some shaky decisions during the game, so I sat down with him yesterday for an interview:
ME: Hey Jim, thanks for joining me. Sorry about your tough loss to the Jets. That was a close game that could have gone either way.
ME: I have to ask you about some of the decisions you made yesterday.
CALDWELL: "I saw! I saw the ball hit some of your words! I saw it!"
ME: What? What ball?
OFFICIAL: "After further review, the ball did not touch Walt's words. The Colts have used their first timeout and first challenge."
ME: What? Where'd this official come from? What's going on here?
ME: Anyway, I wanted to ask...
CALDWELL: "Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out!"
ME: Why the hell are you calling timeout?
CALDWELL: "Need to save time! Need to save time!"
ME: For this interview? Wow, I'm flattered, Jim. With this extra time, let's break for lunch!
Seattle Seahawks (8-9) - Previously: #30 - I won with my Seahawks pick, but this still did not please Seattle fan Zane H., who complained about how low I had his team in my power rankings:
Funny how the Hawks dropped in your power rankings! Also funny how you call them the worst playoff team ever, while they are actually the THIRD worst based on DVOA. (After '98 Cardinals and '04 Rams) Also funny how you give them no respect, and fail to acknowledge that the bad call by the regs was on a 2nd and 1. Biased reporting. I'd like to see how you respond to this...
Way to aim high, Zane. "We're not the worst! We're the third-worst! Yeah!"
Anyway, my response to Zane was six words: "I have them covering the spread."
Kansas City Chiefs (10-7) - Previously: #15 - Is it just me, or does Todd Haley look like a serial killer? He has the blood-shot eyes, the weird mullet and the crazy look on his face.
With eight months before another football game, Haley will now have plenty of time to log into chat rooms, pretend that he's a 15-year-old kid, and then chop up teenage girls after meeting up with them. And when he's caught? He can blame it on his pet dog for telling him to do these things.
If this happens, Haley will be with the Eagles by 2013. I guarantee it.
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Run Defenses, Pass Defense, Pass Protection:
Something new this year - I'm keeping track of precise run defense, pass defense and pass protection rankings in Excel. The benefit to this is that it'll be broken down by week. Here are the download links: