@Real Cowboys LMAO @ Contras and you may be right...but because the Eagles are so hated remember they do not have a 2nd this year and to take more of this years draft and next years 2 away might just bury them for a while....
yo.. you do not do your research.. the draft rumor page isnt @#$@... our gm has talked about how safety is the hardest thing to find.. so why would we pass on jalen when we are going to spend a bunch of money on our front seven (second highest cap space).
It's nice to have a draft order set and the Senior Bowl behind us (other all-star games, too, I suppose). The combine is the other big event of the offseason, so we really are halfway to the draft. Sort of.
Updated: Feb. 9
Cleveland Browns (3-13) - Previously: --.
Johnny Manziel's NFL career is over, as he was more interested in alternating weekends pretending to be some dude named Billy in weekends and (allegedly) beating his ex-girlfriend. But hey, just like he told us right after he was drafted, "I'm just a normal kid." Yeah. That's what normal kids do.
Something no one has mentioned yet is that the Browns quit on Mike Pettine when he refused to plug Manziel in the lineup toward the end of the season. How horrible are these people that they'll only play hard for this douche:
The Browns should just blow the whole thing up and start from scratch.
San Francisco 49ers (5-11) - Previously: --.
As if the 49ers weren't enough of a joke, they went and hired Chip Kelly, which effectively guaranteed them a top-five draft pick for 2017. Of course, I don't need to tell sensible Niner fans this, who didn't even bother showing up to games, and understandably so. Just take a look at this as evidence:
Maybe Jim Harbaugh knew what he was doing when he didn't "honor" the stadium, or whatever it was he didn't do to earn his pink slip. Who the hell would want to "honor" that piece-of-crap stadium, especially knowing what sort of trust-fund douche bag built it?
Tennessee Titans (3-13) - Previously: --.
Marcus Mariota missed most of his rookie campaign, so 2015 can be thrown out. Of course, Mariota could be injury-prone going forward, so it might actually matter. It also doesn't help that the Titans retained Mike Mularkey. I guess the fact that he's on a 9-32 run as a head coach impressed the front office.
Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11) - Previously: --.
The Jaguars appear to be moving in the right direction. Blake Bortles threw a ton of touchdowns last year, Allen Robinson has emerged as a top-flight receiver, and the stadium pool even has a hot lifeguard now. Things haven't been this promising in Jacksonville in years.
Unfortunately, it may all end poorly. The owner stupidly gave the coaching staff an ultimatum, which seldom works. Meanwhile, general manager David Caldwell is so incredibly stubborn that he probably thinks that Luke Joeckel is a good player. Joeckel could single-handedly end Jacksonville's 2016 campaign by getting Bortles hurt.
Chicago Bears (6-10) - Previously: --.
The Bears could easily finish with the league's worst record. In fact, I have them selecting No. 1 overall in my 2017 NFL Mock Draft, taking Deshaun Watson.
Chicago was absolutely terrible to close out the 2015 campaign. They lost to the 49ers and were blown out at Minnesota. Jay Cutler seemed to have some life earlier in the year, but he was back to #yolo mode, and I expect him to be that way again in 2016 with Adam Gase gone.
Atlanta Falcons (8-8) - Previously: --.
The Falcons finished 8-8, but they were atrocious down the stretch, nearly falling to the Titans, and then losing to the 49ers and Buccaneers twice. Some of their early wins were bogus as well, so their record could've been much worse. Many will expect them to rebound because of Matt Ryan and Julio Jones, but the truth is that Ryan hasn't been very good since 2012, and the front office isn't helping him by failing to find upgrades around him. In fact, Hollywood is even making a movie about it:
New Orleans Saints (7-9) - Previously: --.
If it weren't for the 49ers, the Saints might have the worst overall roster in the NFL. Their defense absolutely blows, while their top offensive play-maker, outside of Brandin Cooks, is either Willie Snead or Ben Watson. Drew Brees has single-handedly been keeping this team afloat, but he won't be able to do that much longer. He turned 37 in January, so he'll continue to decline. New Orleans, consequently, may have the No. 1 pick in the NFL Draft at some point in the next few years.
Miami Dolphins (6-10) - Previously: --.
Remember last offseason when Dolphins owner Stephen Ross commanded Joe Philbin to report directly to him even though Philbin had no clue that bullying was going on in his own locker room? Good times. The Dolphins now have a new head coach, but things aren't looking any better because they're allegedly "all in" with Ryan Tannehill, who wasn't even allowed to audible last season because he didn't know how to diagnose defenses.
Yeah, things are looking bright for the Dolphins, all right.
Houston Texans (9-7) - Previously: --.
It's never a good sign when your team's star offensive player shouts at the coaching staff, "Get him off the field!" when referring to his quarterback. Then again, I can't really blame DeAndre Hopkins, as Brian Hoyer put together one of the worst playoff performances from a quarterback in NFL history.
I don't know what the Texans can do about the position. They won too many games to be in contention for one of the top signal-callers, and Christian Hackenberg is going to be a disaster. Perhaps they can tank in order to land Deshaun Watson? He's No. 1 in my 2017 NFL Mock Draft, so they'll effectively have to copy the 76ers' strategy.
New York Giants (6-10) - Previously: --.
Eli Manning isn't having the best offseason. First, they canned his Hall of Fame head coach for no particular reason. Then, he observed as his brother ruined all of his glory...
That's going to make the next family dinner super awkward.
At any rate, the Giants don't really have much going for them outside of Eli to Odell Beckham Jr. The offensive line is a big concern, while the defense features some very significant impending free agents.
Philadelphia Eagles (7-9) - Previously: --.
The Eagles have a coach who is actually familiar with NFL concepts for the first time since 2012, so that's the good news. The bad news is that Philadelphia has nothing at quarterback and possesses some major holes on the roster, particularly on the offensive line and in the secondary.
Regardless of what the Eagles do this offseason, however, it should be considered a success because they fired Chip Kelly, who was an abomination of a coach. Kelly also said some strange things, such as this when he first arrived into Philly: "Were from Philadelphia and we fight." Uhh... you're not from Philly... you're from Minnesota, dude.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-10) - Previously: --.
Jameis Winston had a solid rookie campaign, but is he going to be like Cam Newton and evolve into an MVP candidate, or Vince Young and devolve into a terrible quarterback who ruins teams by making "dream team" announcements? Wait, what's that? You have a problem with that comparison? Because I likened Winston to either Newton or Young? Sorry, that was incredibly insensitive of me. Next time I'll choose quarterbacks who played in the north rather than the south in college. I'm just a horrible human being, what can I say?
All kidding aside, Winston appears to be on the Newton path right now, but Young looked great early on as well. I just worry about Winston getting into trouble in the crazy Tampa environment that corrupted Josh Freeman. See? A northern college quarterback!
San Diego Chargers (4-12) - Previously: --.
The worst thing the Chargers could have done this offseason, besides move to Los Angeles, was stay in San Diego. The fans have already given up on them, meaning most of their home games will have mostly empty seats. Dean Spanos can only hope that the Dolphins are on the home slate once more so that Miami fans show up and cheer on his players during their final curtain call again. I still can't get over how pathetic that was.
The Chargers effectively have 16 road games, so reaching the playoffs will be difficult for them. I won't say they have no chance, as their offense will be potent if their offensive line holds up, but they're definitely going to need some help.
Detroit Lions (7-9) - Previously: --.
The Lions finished on an incredible hot streak to close out the 2015 campaign. Unfortunately, Calvin Johnson announced his retirement. You'd think he could have stuck it out one more year so that Detroit could continue its great momentum and perhaps win a playoff game for the first time in countless decades, but then reports surfaced that Johnson's body was breaking down, so perhaps he wouldn't have been effective at all next year. It'd be cool if Johnson took a year off and then returned, but I remember the same speculation about Barry Sanders when he hung up his cleats.
Los Angeles Rams (7-9) - Previously: --.
The Rams had a roller-coaster 2015 campaign. They looked great a couple of times, but were awful for a stretch when some of their defensive players were injured. They'll be better in 2016, though perhaps that just means that Jeff "Commander .500" Fisher will just live up to his nickname and have the Rams at 8-8 instead of 7-9.
As for the move, it was a pretty terrible one. Not that staying in St. Louis was much of an option because of the dwindling fan base, but Los Angeles will offer even less support. Moving to Portland, San Antonio or Oklahoma City would've been much better for the team in terms of generating a home-field advantage, but Stan Kroenke only cares about two things: Making as much money as possible, and maintaining his porno stache:
Washington Redskins (9-7) - Previously: 28.
Kirk Cousins made a huge leap last season, and he deserves all the credit for that. Despite that, however, the Redskins are lower than many might expect in these power rankings, including some poster in the comment boards named Walter Is A Moron, who told me he was going to laugh at me when Washington would beat Green Bay in the playoffs. Oops.
The Redskins are probably overrated heading into 2016. They battled a super easy schedule down the stretch this past season, and despite that, they still managed to outscore the opposition by just nine total points for the entire year. That shows that they were a bit of a fraud.
Dallas Cowboys (4-12) - Previously: --.
The Cowboys had the worst luck I've ever seen from any team. In addition to their numerous injuries, they blew huge leads and lost overtime coin tosses in two games in which they were missing key defensive players and consequently couldn't stop the opposing offense.
The good news is that Tony Romo has went through a procedure to help him stay healthy, which could allow Dallas win the division in 2016. The bad news is that Romo is practicing his version of dabbing just in case:
Kansas City Chiefs (11-5) - Previously: --.
The Chiefs lucked out with one of the easiest second-half schedules of all time, and they struggled to beat bad teams toward the end, such as the Browns and Chargers. Thus, they predictably folded when they had to battle a real squad in the playoffs.
That said, there are two bits of good news for the Chiefs heading into 2016. The first is that the Broncos will decline because of all of their impending free agents. The second is that if Alex Smith continues to be mediocre, Kansas City can try out this guy at quarterback:
New York Jets (10-6) - Previously: --.
The poor Jets won 10 games, but didn't qualify for the playoffs, as Ryan Fitzpatrick finally blew up in their faces. Not that there's anything wrong with that? Sorry, that sounded kind of dirty.
New York is still stuck in the same position it was last year. The team is solid, but has no chance to advance deep into the postseason as long as Fitzpatrick is at the helm.
Buffalo Bills (8-8) - Previously: --.
On our podcast, Matvei said he liked the Bills as a dark-horse Super Bowl contender, citing the similarities between them and the Panthers last year. I could see the Bills making a run, but they really need to cut down on the stupid penalties because they absolutely murdered themselves in some games last year. Tyrod Taylor's durability is also an issue.
The Bills winning would be nice, as it would give Buffalo its first Super Bowl champion since Jim Kelly and company won four in a row in the early 90s. Oh, wait, that pre-Super Bowl CBS feature wasn't accurate?
Baltimore Ravens (5-11) - Previously: --.
The Ravens had so many injuries in 2015, it was ridiculous. They instantly had no chance because they had no depth as a result of Joe Flacco's contract. I'd like to say things will work out differently for them in 2016, but unless Flacco stops being selfish and makes things easier for his team, depth issues will continue to arise. However, if the Ravens stay healthy, they can certainly make another deep playoff push.
Oakland Raiders (7-9) - Previously: --.
I mentioned on the podcast that I love the Raiders as a dark-horse team to compete for the Super Bowl in 2016. They looked good for long stretches of last season, but struggled a bit at the end when Amari Cooper was hurt. With Derek Carr and Cooper in their third and second years, respectively, I think this team is ready to take off and be competitive with everyone, especially considering that the Broncos and Bengals are two top AFC teams bound to decline because of all of their impending free agents.
The other piece of good news is that the Raiders will remain in Oakland despite Mark Davis trying to do stupid things like move the team to Los Angeles or Las Vegas. Of course, this can't be too shocking, as a man with a Captain Kangaroo haircut can't be trusted to make good decisions.
Indianapolis Colts (8-8) - Previously: --.
The Colts are definitely a possible Super Bowl contender in 2016. That may sound odd, given that they just went 8-8, but Andrew Luck was playing through an injury when he was on the field. If he stays healthy, and if incompetent general manager Ryan Grigson finally improves the offensive line, Indianapolis should be able to win the division pretty easily, earning it at least one home playoff game. Luck has done well as a host - unless, of course, his coach tries some stupid Swinging Gate play...
Minnesota Vikings (11-5) - Previously: --.
What I wrote in my initial offseason power rankings last year: "I like the Vikings to challenge for a playoff spot next year. They finished the year on a 5-4 streak, and their losses - two of which came against Green Bay and Detroit - were by an average of 3.8 points. Teddy Bridgewater made great strides in the second half of the season, and I don't see why he would suddenly decline."
Well, it's nice to be right about something for a change. I still like the Vikings a lot, and Teddy Bridgewater's performance against the Seahawks in sub-zero conditions only makes me more confident in him and the team's chances.
Cincinnati Bengals (12-4) - Previously: --.
Another year, another one-and-done performance in the playoffs. This year's collapse was especially crazy. The Bengals had the game in hand, yet just threw it away. It was absolutely ridiculous.
Tough times might be coming for the Bengals. They have so many prominent free agents that it might be difficult to win the division again. The players with expiring contracts include: Reggie Nelson, George Iloka, Leon Hall, Pacman Jones, Andre Smith and Marvin Jones. The secondary has been an incredible strength for Cincinnati, but it doesn't seem like that'll be the case anymore.
Denver Broncos (12-4) - Previously: --.
Winning two units on the Broncos was nice, but this was the best part about Denver prevailing:
Wow. Wade with a shot at Cam! I'm not even sure what the hell Wade means, but that was totally savage.
At any rate, the Broncos are relatively low on these power rankings despite their Super Bowl victory because they have so many talented free agents. It's going to be tough to retain everyone, and the defense will be worse as a result.
Green Bay Packers (10-6) - Previously: --.
The Packers have three goals this offseason to reach the Super Bowl, which is a possibility:
1. Find better depth on the offensive line just in case Aaron Rodgers' blockers get hurt again.
2. Address the linebacking corps, which has been weak for a few years now.
3. Get Eddie Lacy to lose 80 pounds.
The Packers have already begun No. 3, via this tactic:
Arizona Cardinals (13-3) - Previously: --.
Arizona fans better hope that Carson Palmer was legitimately affected by his finger injury in the playoffs. If not, he'll need to be known as the biggest choker since Aurora Snow. Wait, she still does porn, right?
The Cardinals once again figure to be one of the top teams in the NFL, but I'm not sure they can be picked to go the distance based on how horrible Palmer was this past postseason.
New England Patriots (12-4) - Previously: --.
The Patriots' decision to neglect the offensive line really backfired late last season. You have to wonder what would've happened had Bill Belichick not opted to trade Logan Mankins for Tim Wright. Belichick has done many brilliant things during his tenure, but that may have been his worst move ever.
New England should be strong again in 2016. Exactly how strong will be on Tom Brady, who will turn 39. Brady has done a great job of keeping his body in great shape, but he will decline at some point. Plus, Brady still has to worry about the whole deflated balls thing. And by that, I mean this:
Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6) - Previously: --.
The Steelers might have been the best team in the NFL this past season. They should've beaten the Broncos without Antonio Brown, and they would've gotten Brown back for the AFC Championship at New England, which they definitely could've won.
Pittsburgh's challenge will be staying healthy. Ben Roethlisberger and Le'Veon Bell have shown some durability issues, but if they can stay on the field, the Steelers will have a decent shot at winning the Super Bowl.
Seattle Seahawks (10-6) - Previously: --.
The Panthers swept the Seahawks in 2015, but Seattle has the personnel to beat them, especially if it doesn't have to play at 1 p.m. on the East Coast again. The Seahawks finished the year on a very strong note, and they only have a couple of significant free agents to re-sign. Plus, Thomas Rawls will be back to negate the retirement of Marshawn Lynch, which earned a very low Disaster Grade.
Carolina Panthers (15-1) - Previously: --.
Would you say that Cam Newton was butt hurt after the Super Bowl loss? If so, this picture seems so much more appropriate:
Things won't be as easy for the Panthers in 2016, as they'll probably have to battle some tough opponents who can rush the passer. Fortunately, they'll be getting Kelvin Benjamin back, and with so few major free agents, they can focus on fixing the offensive line.
At any rate, there's something I need to get to before I conclude these power rankings:
The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!
Cam Newton: Derek, it's the final game. It's all come down to this. All you have to do is spike Denver's Gatorade bucket so that the defensive players get drunk and don't sack me seven times.
Derek Anderson: No worries, Cam. I put my best man on the job.
Cam Newton: Your best man? Don't tell me you let Johnny Manziel handle your duties.
Derek Anderson: Not Johnny Manziel. Billy Manziel. He's not Johnny Manziel because he has blond hair. Here he is! Billy, did you spike the Gatorade?
Billy Manziel: Yeahahah mmananann I spspsikkee thhree Gatotorasddee andndn I drrirink soemmee mmyysselelff hahaha hic!
Derek Anderson: I knew you'd get the job done! Great work, Billy!
Cam Newton: Whoa... whoa... I don't feel right. I... whoa... I whwhooa... I... wait did you sspoike our Gattorade?
Derek Anderson: I told Billy to spike he Denver Gatorades. You did thats, right Billy?