I run a Live NBA Draft Blog every single year, and one thing people tell me that they look forward to is my dad's reaction to whom the Sixers pick.
I have some sad news to report. I won't be watching the NBA Draft with my dad this year because he'll be on a business trip in Poland. To make up for it, here are some of my dad's past reactions to his beloved Sixers' selections:
2010 NBA Draft:
With the No. 2 pick in the 2010 NBA Draft, the Sixers select Evan Turner.
7:43: My dad's reaction: "Thank God!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope they don't trade him!"
2009 NBA Draft:
8:49: The Sixers are just four picks away. My dad wants Tyler Hansbrough, Ty Lawson or Wayne Ellington. Yeah, he's not a front-runner.
8:50: With the 13th pick in the 2009 NBA Draft, the Indiana Pacers select Tyler Hansbrough, PF, North Carolina - My dad just groaned. "Oh no, my guy!"
9:03: My dad is beaming. The Sixers will have their choice of Ty Lawson and/or Wayne Ellington:
"Watch, if the Sixers draft these guys, they're going to be good next season."
9:09: My dad's pretty confident they're taking Lawson or Ellington... He also thinks they may take B.J. Mullens and trade him.
9:10: And on that note, t-minus three minutes and counting until my TV is debacled.
9:13: With the 17th pick in the 2009 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select Jrue Holiday, G, UCLA - Oh... no....
9:14: My dad on the pick:
"What the f***!?!??! I was afraid they'd take him. What the f***... I was afraid they were going to take him... I hope we're going to trade him. Why didn't they take Ty Lawson? Son of a b****. Why not Ellington? Maybe they'll trade down. Maybe they'll trade Holiday..."
9:16: I just told my dad Holiday averaged 8.5 ppg and shot 30.7 percent from three-point range at UCLA last year. He looks defeated.
2008 NBA Draft:
9:01: The Sixers are the clock. We're two minutes away from my dad throwing the remote at the TV.
9:02: My dad on the pick: "If Billy King were still the GM, he'd take some horrible small forward no one has ever heard of."
9:04: With the 16th pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, the Philadelphia 76ers select PF Marreese Speights, Florida.
9:05: Silence. My dad hasn't said anything yet. Hey, I'm not complaining... the TV's not broken.
9:07: Silence regarding the new Eddie Murphy movie too. There's mass confusion going on here. My dad hasn't cheered the pick, and hasn't criticized it yet either. He's looking at the Philadelphia Daily News to try and figure out what happened. It's pretty eerie, I think I'd like to have my TV broken.
2007 NBA Draft:
8:32: With the 10th pick, the Kings select Spencer Hawes. My dad just shouted about 15 curse words in a row: "Billy King's an idiot. Why didn't he trade up for Hawes? First, the Sixers refused to tank at the end of the season. Next, King stays idle at No. 12 when the top 10 players are clearly a cut above everyone else!"
8:34: My dad just said the following, "Watch, King's going to pick Sean Williams at No. 12."
8:46: With the 12th pick, the Hawks select Thaddeus Young.
8:54: My dad was just on the phone with his co-worker. This is what the conversation sounded like: "Billy King is a f***ing idiot! Can someone fire him? Billy King and Isiah Thomas, two f***ing idiots! How many small forwards can you have? Every team picked up a good player. The Sixers got garbage, as usual. No one has heard of this guy! He was supposed to go No. 19 or 20."
What's that? You're wondering why I have the same Knicks pick as David Kay in his far superior 2011 NBA Mock Draft? I swear to God, I didn't copy off of him! What, you don't believe me!? Well, screw you! I didn't copy it AAARRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Does anyone else think it's not a coincidence that the crappiest teams in the NBA have two first-round picks in the worst NBA Draft of all time? You have the Cavs, Wizards, Bobcats, Timberwolves all owning multiple selections. It's as if all the smart teams decided to trick the dumb teams into trading for these once seemingly lucrative picks.
The NBA Draft is much different than the NFL Draft. There's the obvious stuff - foreign players, fewer positions to draft, etc. - and then there's the concept of promises. For example, as David Kay noted in his 2011 NBA Mock Draft, some player was promised to go No. 21 at the latest. I've read other similar things elsewhere.
Promises shromises. Promises aren't worth a damn. Let me tell you something about promises. My teacher once promised I can be anything I wanted to be, like President of the United States. I want to be President of the States, but I'm just a fat dude eating Pringles and Kit-Kats in my house on a Monday afternoon. F*** you, teacher, and f*** your promises!
Denver Nuggets: Nikola Mirotic, PF, Montenegro, 6-10, 1991 Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Tobias Harris, SF, Tennessee
I don't trust anyone from Montenegro. But before you label me as a racist, hear this story: I was at Wawa one day. There was only one buffalo chicken wrap available. I was about to grab it, but this guy beat me to the punch. I pleaded for it, but he wouldn't relent.
See? Oh, I missed one detail. That guy had a Montenegrin accent. At least that's what I think it was. It could have been Greek, Polish or Estonian. I basically have a huge beef with all of Eastern Europe right now. Mmmm... beef...
WALTERFOOTBALL.COM BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Donnie Motiejunas is a liar and a cheat. Did you know that he declared for the 2010 NBA Draft? I just re-read my 2010 NBA Mock Draft and spotted his name in there. Yet, he has somehow tricked everyone and re-declared for the 2011 NBA Draft. You heard it here first. Motiejunas is fooling everyone and getting away with it! Someone, please stop him before it's too late.
Boston Celtics: Jeremy Tyler, F/C, USA, 6-11, 1992 Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Jimmy Butler, SF, Marquette
Danny Ainge has been doing stupid things lately, so he seems like the type of guy who would pick a foreigner from the country of USA. Let's just hope the fans don't lose patience as Tyler adjusts to life in America.
Dallas Mavericks: Tyler Honeycutt, SF, UCLA, 6-8, Soph. Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Nikola Mirotic, PF, Eastern Europe
I'm giving the Mavericks the best player available because they're my heroes for beating the Heat. Thank you, Dirk Nowitzki and Mark Cuban, for saving us all.
New Jersey Nets: Norris Cole, PG, Cleveland State, 6-2, Sr. Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Reggie Jackson, PG, Boston College
Why is everyone so concerned about the Nets losing Deron Williams? If Williams even thinks about leaving, he'll hear the following from his Russian mob boss owner:
"Derrick Villiam, if you leave city of New Jersey, I vill find you, cut off balls of your goat and feed you balls when you sleeping. Zen, I vill hire gypsy to live in your house for two year! If gypsy do not live house in two year, gypsy can cast magic spells and turn all furnitures into horse tongue. But if you stay in city of New Jersey, Derrick Villiam, then I vill give you many prostitute every night."
There's no way Williams is leaving.
Chicago Bulls: Justin Harper, PF, Richmond, 6-9, Sr. Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Justin Harper, PF, Richmond
I lost a ton of money betting on Chicago in that Bulls-Heat series, so I can't afford to write any analysis here. It's almost nightfall, and I need to find a cardboard box to sleep in tonight.
San Antonio Spurs: Davis Bertans, F, Latvia, 6-10, 1992 Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: David Bertans, F, Latvia
Before I finish up, I need to rant about the Miami Heat.
Like I said before, I was glad Dallas won the championship, but I'm not completely relieved - because Miami could start rolling off NBA titles starting next year. And if that happens, I'm done watching the NBA. Seriously. I hate these a**holes, especially LeBron James, who is an arrogant turd who thinks he's better than everyone.
I'd also like to hear everyone stop saying LeBron is the best player on the NBA. Oh, really? Because the 7-1 German on Dallas just outplayed him in the NBA Finals. LeBron might have the most talent, but he isn't the best player. It's not even close. The best player in the NBA doesn't miss almost every single shot in crunch time. The best player in the NBA isn't scared to have the ball in his hands when the season is on the line. The best player in the NBA doesn't get sand up his vag and take shots at his detractors after he loses a big game.
And then there's Dwyane Wade, who doesn't get any of the blame whatsoever. Didn't he cough first in the tunnel? Didn't he dribble the ball off his foot to cost his team an NBA Finals game? Wade's hubris level isn't overflowing like LeChoke's is, but he still acted like a douche this season. I used to like Wade, but I've lost a lot of respect for him.
I won't mention Chris Bosh beyond this sentence because he's a joke.
I guess I have personal problems because I still hate on LeBron. Major personal problems. Like there aren't any buffalo chicken wraps available at Wawa today. But you know what? Because the Heat didn't win the NBA Championship, my day is just a bit brighter.
Chicago Bulls: Iman Shumpert, G, Georgia Tech, 6-5, Jr. Thursday Afternoon Updated 2011 NBA Mock Draft Pick: Nolan Smith, PG, Duke
As I'm writing this, ESPN is reporting that the Lakers and Timberwolves are discussing a trade. Hmm... wonder who'll get the better end of this one...
The Lakers would deal Pau Gasol to the Timberwolves for Kevin Love and the No. 2 pick in the 2011 NBA Draft.
Umm... isn't Love better and much younger than Gasol? Did no one else watch Gasol embarrass himself against the Mavericks? Gasol sucks, Love is the next Moses Malone, and yet the Timberwolves want to surrender the No. 2 overall pick to get older and crappier?
Am I missing something here, or is David Kahn just that stupid? Or is David Stern forcing Kahn to do this trade as punishment for making fun of a 14-year-old kid with a nerve disorder?