Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
The Lions became the first team to go 0-16. I sat down with Rod Marinelli and talked about making history.
ME: Rod, thanks for joining me on such a tough day. It must suck getting fired. For the record, I didn't think it was your fault. No one could have coached a group of bums like that to more than three or four victories.
MARINELLI: "I felt I gave it my best, but sometimes your best isn't good enough and it wasn't good enough this year."
ME: That's true. You did have a few close games though.
MARINELLI: "We tried hard all year. I felt they gave it their best. We will continue to work hard and give it our best."
ME: We? Weren't you fired?
MARINELLI: "The season kind of slipped away. We tried hard all year. I felt they gave it their best. We will keep giving it our best next week."
ME: Next week? The season's over, and you're not even the head coach anymore!
MARINELLI: "All we can do is keep giving it our best. We will continue to try as hard as we can."
ME: Are you a robot or something? I bet I can say anything, and you'll talk about giving it your best. Here, let's try this... Hey, Marinelli! Your daughter's taste in men sucks!
MARINELLI: "Sometimes your best isn't good enough but we'll continue to give our best."
ME: I knew it. Hey, Marinelli! Maybe we should make your daughter the defensive coordinator! You'll go 0-17! Ha!
MARINELLI: "What!? I'll kill you!"
ME: Nooo!!! Ahhh!!! Your choking me... Someone... please... hel...