Mostly agree with your rankings; with the optimism bias from being a cardinals fan personally, I'd argue you could make a 1 star increase at each position, but their current rankings are also fair. I very much disagree with the 1 star ranking at special teams however, as we have a pro bowl gunner in Justin Bethel being joined by some high upside athletes in the kick coverage team and kick return game. Probably the best coverage unit in the game, which coupled with a punter who is below average (don't think he's as bad as stats show- his hangtime is rediculous, and it seems the staff went with him for this reason. I'd choose a distance leg with our coverage team, butI digress). In short, I'd say 3 stars is fair. A perfectly average special teams unit, whose only limitation really seems to be Drew Butler's distance and the uncertainty of a new long snapper (but both seem pretty reliable this far)
Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
The Lions became the first team to go 0-16. I sat down with Rod Marinelli and talked about making history.
ME: Rod, thanks for joining me on such a tough day. It must suck getting fired. For the record, I didn't think it was your fault. No one could have coached a group of bums like that to more than three or four victories.
MARINELLI: "I felt I gave it my best, but sometimes your best isn't good enough and it wasn't good enough this year."
ME: That's true. You did have a few close games though.
MARINELLI: "We tried hard all year. I felt they gave it their best. We will continue to work hard and give it our best."
ME: We? Weren't you fired?
MARINELLI: "The season kind of slipped away. We tried hard all year. I felt they gave it their best. We will keep giving it our best next week."
ME: Next week? The season's over, and you're not even the head coach anymore!
MARINELLI: "All we can do is keep giving it our best. We will continue to try as hard as we can."
ME: Are you a robot or something? I bet I can say anything, and you'll talk about giving it your best. Here, let's try this... Hey, Marinelli! Your daughter's taste in men sucks!
MARINELLI: "Sometimes your best isn't good enough but we'll continue to give our best."
ME: I knew it. Hey, Marinelli! Maybe we should make your daughter the defensive coordinator! You'll go 0-17! Ha!
MARINELLI: "What!? I'll kill you!"
ME: Nooo!!! Ahhh!!! Your choking me... Someone... please... hel...