Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
Walt Coleman had a shady call at the end of the Baltimore-Pittsburgh game. I talked to Coleman about it.
ME: Walt, thanks for joining me. I know your call in the Ravens-Steelers game has been scrutinized by everyone. Thanks for being a man and doing this interview with me.
COLEMAN: "No problem, Walt. Hey, I'm confused. If you're Walt, then who am I?"
ME: Uhh... I'll just ignore that. Let's get to your ruling. Many are opining that there wasn't enough physical evidence that the ball crossed the plane. What would you say to those people?
COLEMAN: "How many hours a week do you work? What is your work week like? Are you a Virgo or a Leo?"
ME: No, Coleman. I'm doing the interview here. I know you don't understand the rules of interviews. When I ask you a question, just answer it as best as you can. So, what would you say to those people?
COLEMAN: "Uhh... No. 79 was not lined up properly. Then he was set. No flag on the play!"
ME: No... that's another call you screwed up. I'm talking about the Santonio Holmes touchdown.
COLEMAN: "The runner broke the first-down barrier! First down, Pittsburgh!"
ME: Umm... no... that's yet another call you botched. Come on, Coleman. Concentrate! Concentrate!!!
COLEMAN: "There were two feet in the end zone with possession of the ball. Touchdown!"
ME: Ah, ha! Yet again, you never mentioned that the ball crossed the plane! Next, you'll probably tell me that you've never heard of ties.
COLEMAN: I have never heard of ties before. Never been part of a tie. Never even knew that was in the rule book. I'd like to see what happens in the Super Bowl if the game ends in a tie.
ME: What? Wait a second... you sound like Donovan McNabb! Holy crap - you're really Donovan who has dressed up as an old official!
@Steel Willy The funny thing is, OLB, S, and CB entered free agency as bigger needs than DL, RB, and WR and in free agency, DL, RB, and WR depth were all added while out of OLB, S, and CB, depth was added to only one of those positions, yet Walt ignores CB, S, and OLB but gives them RB, WR, and DL. Another funny thing is offense is the stronger unit, yet the majority of the picks for Pittsburgh is offensive players. Not to mention, Buddha Baker and Derek Rivers being available at pick 62, and Walt having Pittsburgh pass on both is insanity
I like the change for the lions in round 1, adoree jackson had to go. DT from Auburn is a need, not as pressing as others (DE, LB, CB) but with him being a pass rusher it kinda makes up for it. RB and TE round 3 and 4? I don't hate it but it sounds more Martin Mayhew than Bob Quinn. I thin the run on defense in 4 out of the first 5 picks.... The Kareem Hunt pick I like but hopefully later than a 3