Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
Walt Coleman had a shady call at the end of the Baltimore-Pittsburgh game. I talked to Coleman about it.
ME: Walt, thanks for joining me. I know your call in the Ravens-Steelers game has been scrutinized by everyone. Thanks for being a man and doing this interview with me.
COLEMAN: "No problem, Walt. Hey, I'm confused. If you're Walt, then who am I?"
ME: Uhh... I'll just ignore that. Let's get to your ruling. Many are opining that there wasn't enough physical evidence that the ball crossed the plane. What would you say to those people?
COLEMAN: "How many hours a week do you work? What is your work week like? Are you a Virgo or a Leo?"
ME: No, Coleman. I'm doing the interview here. I know you don't understand the rules of interviews. When I ask you a question, just answer it as best as you can. So, what would you say to those people?
COLEMAN: "Uhh... No. 79 was not lined up properly. Then he was set. No flag on the play!"
ME: No... that's another call you screwed up. I'm talking about the Santonio Holmes touchdown.
COLEMAN: "The runner broke the first-down barrier! First down, Pittsburgh!"
ME: Umm... no... that's yet another call you botched. Come on, Coleman. Concentrate! Concentrate!!!
COLEMAN: "There were two feet in the end zone with possession of the ball. Touchdown!"
ME: Ah, ha! Yet again, you never mentioned that the ball crossed the plane! Next, you'll probably tell me that you've never heard of ties.
COLEMAN: I have never heard of ties before. Never been part of a tie. Never even knew that was in the rule book. I'd like to see what happens in the Super Bowl if the game ends in a tie.
ME: What? Wait a second... you sound like Donovan McNabb! Holy crap - you're really Donovan who has dressed up as an old official!
I like how everyone says that Ameer Abdullah can't say healthy...he played in every game as a rookie and barely missed any time in college. So yes, he was hurt this year, but that doesn't mean he "can't stay healthy".
Walt, at what point are you going to realize that Jerry is no longer calling the shots, and idiotic "splash" type 1st rd picks aren't a thing anymore? Jabrill is a below average defensive player, who does not fit Marinelli's scheme at all. Time to scrap this mock and start over. With who you have on the board at 28, John Ross, Takkarist McKinley, or even Teez Tobr would be a better pick to mock there.