Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
I make fun of Brad Childress a lot. I even call him Brad Clueless all of the time. Clueless... I mean Childress agreed to an interview to explain himself.
ME: Hey, Brad. Thanks for joining me.
CHILDRESS: "Hello, I ... glad to ... here, thanks for ... me."
ME: Huh? What are you talking about?
CHILDRESS: "Ugh! Get with the program, Walt! Verbs are the most important part of speech in our language, so I've decided that I'm not going to use them anymore."
ME: Why? That's just idioti... Oh, I know. It's to defend your strategy of not using Adrian Peterson as much as you should, right?
CHILDRESS: "That'... right, Walt!"
ME: That's pretty weird, but whatever floats your boat, man. Let me ask you - why do you keep doing stupid stuff like kicking to Reggie Bush?
CHILDRESS: "That's easy. Bush returning a couple of punts was the only way the Saints were going to catch up to us. If the Saints didn't take the lead, we would have never have gotten a great winning drive from Gus Frerotte. So, it was vital that Bush returned those punts so we could come back and win the game."
ME: But... why didn't you just settle for winning the easy way?
CHILDRESS: "That ... no sense. ... me, I'... an NFL head coach, and I ... more than you!"