Disclaimer: These are not real interviews. They are purely satire. They were featured weekly in my NFL Power Rankings.
Only one "expert" on FOX had Arizona over Philadelphia in the NFC Championship. When Terry Bradshaw became the only panelist to pick the Cardinals over the Eagles, I realized that I went a whole year without interviewing him! So, I called up the FOX "analyst" and we were able to get a dialogue going. Here's my exclusive interview with the Blond Bomber:
ME: Hey Terry Bradshaw, thanks for joining me. I know you're busy rading your own liquor cabinet right now, so I really appreciate it.
BRADSHAW: "No problem, Joe! Let's do this interview right now!"
ME: Uhh... it's Walt. Anyway, good call on the Cardinals. I had them myself. Who ya got in the Super Bowl?
BRADSHAW: "Only I know who Terry is going to pick. I will tell you who Terry is gonna pick... hic... Terry is picking the Philadelphia Eagles and Dononnan McNabb to win the Super Bowl."
ME: The Eagles? They're not even in the Super Bowl! They lost to the team you just picked on your pre-game show!
BRADSHAW: "Hic... Terry does not understand what you are saying, Derrick. I will tell you what, I feel good about my Super Bowl pick."
ME: Well that makes one of us.
BRADSHAW: "This is gettin' borin', so Terry will tell you a joke. A horse walked into the bar one night. What did the horse do? Hic... I will tell you what the horse did. The horse looked at the bartender and asked, 'Can I have a shot of Jack Daniels for my friend Terry over here? He's a good fella.' So the bartender poured him a drink. Hic... And I drank it quick!"
ME: OK? Then what happened?
ME: You said you were telling me a joke. That was not a joke. It started as a joke, but I think you got it confused with one of your drunken memories.
BRADSHAW: "You want a joke? I will tell you a joke. Knock knock. Who's this? Who done knocked on my door? Hic... I better hope it's not a door-to-door salesman again. Hic... That is why the chicken crossed to the other side. Wait... hic... that is not right..."
ME: I think you messed that one up, Terry.
BRADSHAW: "Are you callin me drunk? I am not drunk... hic... I can count the alphabet backward... 65... 64... 52... Hic... Who's knockin on my door?"
ME: Yeah, I think we're going to have to flag you, Terry.