Reader Mock by Marky.mark

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Marky Mark's Mock
Published at 2/11/2014 12:08:20 PM

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Overall Grade: C
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Total Grades: 47
Average Grade: C
Millen  Bill

Round 1

1. Texans: Teddy Bridgewater, Quarterback, Louisville

I've been watching a lot of tape and seeing a lot of mocks were Teddy isn't the #1 pick. Fuck that noise, he is going first overall and everyone is just trying to get clicks. Bill O'Brien turned Matt McGloin from a terrible walk-on to an NFL starting quarterback, just imagine what he could to do Teddy.

2. Rams: Sammy Watkins, Wide Receiver, Clemson

DAMN SON, WHERE'D YOU FIND THIS? Rams will try and trade out of this spot, but if Teddy goes 1st then the rest of the quarterbacks will fall in a way that might prevent them. I know that the L.A. Rams have more needs than 6'1 WR, but they need to find out if Sammy Boy is the real deal. If he is, great. If not then their next QB will have a full set of toys.

3. Jaguars: Blake Bortles, Quarterback, Central Florida

The Blaine Train has finally pulled into the station. I hope Bla-ke can be successful. Bortles reminds me of Jay Cutler or Ben Roethlisberger as he comes from a smaller school and is white.

4. Browns: Johnny Manziel, Quarterback, Texas A&M

Any claim of Manziel being dependent on Mike Evans is not relevant once Josh Gordon is in the picture. The Browns and Manziel would make interesting bed fellows with the potential for the Browns offense to be as explosive as their front office.

5. Raiders: Jake Matthews, Offensive Tackle, Texas A&M

Matt McGloin and Terrelle Pyror shed a tear as the Raiders refuse to reach for Carr and decade that B1G QB's a better than David Carr's brother. The Raiders are more excited for free agency this year than the draft.

6. Falcons: Jadeveon Clowney, Defensive End, South Carolina

The Falcons picked a great year to suck and should be rewarded for it. Clowney is a freak and will bring back the Dirty Bird dance. If Julio goes down again,he has the skillset to help the offense.

7. Buccaneers: Greg Robinson, Offensive Tackle, Auburn

Doug Martin needs someone to open holes for him and this man can do it. Watching Auburn run the ball was a joy this year. Look for him to excel at the combine, but probably fall once. Lineman get body conscious when not wearing their pads.

8. Vikings: Anthony Barr, Outside Linebacker, UCLA

The Vikings have another year to Ponder their quarterback situation, but in the mean time they will grab the best linebacker in the draft. Calls to Favre go unanswered.

9. Bills: Mike Evans, Wide Receiver, Texas A&M

I still believe EJ Manuel was more of a reach than Ben Affleck as Batman, but the Bills have a chance to get some tools for EJ to prove me and thousands of comic book fans wrong.

10. Lions: Khalil Mack, Outside Linebacker, Buffalo

Look for the Lions to go WR in round 2, but for now they take Macky Daddy himself and hope that he isn't Ernie Sims 2.0.

11. Titans: Eric Ebron, Tight End, North Carolina

The Titans are in desperate need of being relevant and nothing says relevancy like taking a tight end in the first round. Ebron is a black Kyle Brady

12. Giants: Taylor Lewan, Offensive Tackle, Michigan

I hate Lewan, primarily because the only tape on him I say was the Michigan St. game. Eli Manning needs some help staying upright so he can throw more interceptions.

13. Rams: Darqueze Dennard, Cornerback, Michigan State

Dennard is the best CB in the draft, and if you disagree then you are wrong. Rams need to cut Finnegan to save money and Darqueze has the raw skills needed to excel at the next level.

14. Bears: Louis Nix, Defensive Tackle, Notre Dame

The Bears defense this year was reminiscent of a retired porn star: loose, old and full of semen. Look for them to get back to their basics with old St. Nix.

15. Steelers: Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Free Safety, Alabama

I'm seeing a lot of Luis Nix at this spot, but the Steelers would benefit more from the Dix. Ryan Clark is gone and HaHa could take Troys spot at FS, because Troy is a linebacker now apparently.

16. Cowboys: Marqise Lee, Wide Receiver, USC

Romo to Lee. Lee to Romo. Get used to it folks.

1-16 17-32
by RomeATL
by Walterlosthisfastball

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